Door To Door

Customer Type #3: The Ones Who Don't Like Your Cause

"Hello, ma'am, I'm Hudson Ellis - I'm a representative of the charity Man's Best Friend. You may have heard of us?"

The woman looks unimpressed. "No."

Hudson blinks. Okay, then. "Well, we're a charity that helps disabled dogs - "

"I'm allergic to dogs," she cuts him off.

"Right, well..." he trails off. "I mean, you don't have to let that stop you, right? If - "

"I'm sorry," the woman interrupts him again, not looking very sorry at all, "I'm not all that interested in helping animals that force me to stick an EpiPen in my thigh and then go to hospital."

There is an awkward silence. 

"I'm sure that if you just heard me out - " Hudson begins weakly. 

"I'd rather not," she purses her lips. "But thanks for the offer," she adds, as though going for some type of consolation. 

Hudson watches the door swing shut. "That went well," he mumbles to himself, still standing in the porch. 

☒

"Good morning, sir, I'm - "

"Daddy!"

"Dad!"

"Bert won't give back my tiara - "

"Laura took my Transformers - "

"Dad, Alex is stuck up the tree! Again! And she's going to fall soon!"

The man who opens the door looks very distressed, with a baby cradled in one arm, a small child clinging to his leg, and a plethora of voices emanating from various places in the house behind him.

"Could you be quick?" he asks Hudson desperately. "If Alex has got herself stuck up the tree, I gotta - "

"Um, sure," Hudson nods. "I'm a volunteer for a charity that helps disabled dogs - "

"Oh, Jesus," half of him retains the frantic air, but the other seems close to rolling its eyes. "Could you not be a volunteer for something a little more important? One that helps single dads with five kids, for instance?"

Hudson wonders if it's a joke he should laugh at. Looking over at the man again, he decides it's probably not. 

"I understand that - "

"You really don't," the man shakes his head, jogging the baby as he does so. "What are you, twenty, twenty-one?"

"I - "

"Here's some advice for you, kid," he says breathlessly as the shrieks in the house continue, "don't get married. It's not worth it."

"Right," Hudson feels that he's steadily losing a customer. "I really think it would be great if you could consider - "

At that precise moment, the baby in the man's arms chooses to let out a wail that Hudson is pretty sure can be heard from ten blocks away. 

The man swears under his breath, already starting to jog the child up and down in an attempt to make it stop crying. Soon enough, the toddler at his feet takes up the cry, both of them bawling in unison. 

"Look, kid, I'm sorry, but I got five freaking kids, I don't need a blind dog to add to my troubles," he says briskly over his children's cries. 

Hudson considers pointing out the sponsoring programme, but gets the distinct feeling that it wouldn't be received well. Sure enough, he soon finds himself nose-to-nose with a door.