The Jacob Sartorius Experience

Part 1

"Are you okay?" I asked, trying not to laugh. It was the third time that Molly had slipped in the Minneapolis winter slush today, and she was clearly running out of patience.

"Yeah, but the next time this happens, I am going to personally shovel every street in the city until no snow is visible."

I gave her my hand and pulled her up. "And I will help you with that. Snow is ruining my life."

Molly brushed off her coat and continued trudging down the sidewalk. "Let's just get to the Cupcakery before I die of hunger." Before we had a chance to take another step, a huge crowd of teenage girls started flooding the sidewalk.

"What are all of these people doing here? I thought the Selena Gomez concert was next Wednesday?" Molly asked.

I shuddered, and not just from the crisp, November air. "I think this is actually the Jacob Sartorius concert." Jacob Sartorius was a 14 year old boy who was somehow discovered on the hit app, Musical.ly. It blows my mind how people like Jacob become famous. All they do is act like total jerks on the internet, and people worship them. If making cringey singing videos and acting like he's better than everyone makes someone famous, consider him Beyonce.

"Oh, you mean Jacob Saggytits? That walking piece of trash is popular enough to go on tour?" Molly scoffed, crossing her arms.

"Yeah. Unfortunately for us, his 12 year old minions are going to cause traffic that will back us up for miles. I didn't even think he had enough fans to fill up one row of seats."

Molly sighed. "This generation is so screwed up. We kept walking towards the Cupcakery when Molly suddenly turned the corner. Her face twisted into a look I've never seen before. She appeared to be in deep concentration, but clearly was disgusted with something.

I squinted at her, unsure what she was doing. "Molly, the Cupcakery is this way."

"I smell something weird, come here." She spoke, her voice oozing with suspicion.

I went over to her and looked around the alley where she was walking around. "Molly, we're in the middle of the city. There's going to be weird smells wherever we go."

"But this is something totally different, it smells like cologne, fast food, and rubber."

Molly continued down the narrow path. It was wide enough for a few people to get through at once, and had stray wrappers and empty boxes on either side. Molly turned around another corner, and I watched as she stopped in her tracks. I caught up with her, and saw something that would change our lives forever.

"Is that what I think it is?" I asked, hardly able to believe my eyes.

"Oh my God, is that...?" Molly and I stopped dead in our tracks.

"The Jacob Sartorius tour bus." I muttered.

We stood for a second to stare at this extremely rare sighting. Unbelievably, there was no one else on the street, and all I could hear were the distant screams of Jacob-crazy girls.

"Do you know how many little girls wish they were in our shoes right now?" Molly stated, her eyes glued on the license plate that said JSTOUR1.

"I don't want to know. I've thought about Jacob so much today, I am starting to lose IQ points."

Molly walked to the side of the bus. "Where does he even stay? He can't spend the night in his tour bus in the alley, and every hotel in a 20 mile radius is probably guarded with his maniacal fangirls."

"Where do celebrities go when they're on tour?" I wondered, "That's something I've always wondered."

"I don't know...but if we followed him...we could find out." Molly said. The slight shift in her voice was how I knew that she was already planning something chaotic.

I looked her dead in the eyes. "Are you seriously suggesting that we follow it's tour bus?" Molly lifted one eyebrow.

"Molly, I'm hungry. And you know how I can get when I don't get my chocolate brownie fudge cupcakes." I argued.

"It probably won't take that long. And think about it, his bus is parked in a dark alley. He obviously doesn't want anybody to know where this bus is. So if we do find out where he's staying, we can post his address on some Jacob fansite. I bet he would just LOVE that." Molly said.

I could practically see the gears turning in her head. I knew that what we were thinking is pure evil, and would really affect Jacob's tour, but at the same time, I wanted to see how many people would actually come to the address.

A few moments later, Molly and I were sitting around the corner from the alley. It has been half an hour, and even though the heat was full blast, my toes were still numb from the cold.

"I don't know if I can take this much longer, my bladder is about to explode." I whined, clutching the steering wheel.

Molly pulled her coat tightly around her arms. "Yeah, maybe we should go." I had just started the car, when the tour bus swerved out of the alley, it's tires screeching.

Moly whipped her head to face me, her eyes wide open. "Drive!" She screamed. I slammed my foot on the pedal, and drove after the bus.