hold me tonight | jaymi hensley/olly marmon

It wasn’t always this hard. He didn’t always miss Olly this much, but there were days when all he wanted to do is cuddle up with him in the bed and forget about everything and everyone. Now, don’t get this wrong, Jaymi loved their fans, and he loved singing, doing what he wanted to do ever since he was a kid, but there were so many people that hated him for being gay, and sometimes it simply gets too hard to ignore it.

‘’Jaymi, I’m gonna head out, are you staying in or going out?’’ JJ called from his room. Jaymi sighed and turned off his phone, throwing it somewhere on the sofa. ‘’Jaymi?’’

 ‘’No, I…’’ Jaymi started, rubbing his eyes. ‘’I’m gonna stay in tonight.’’ JJ walked in their living room and looked at him, worried.

‘’I thought you’d go to Olly’s or something. We have a day off tomorrow.’’

Jaymi shook his head and took a deep breath. ‘’He has to work today.’’ He muttered, looking at the floor and blinking to stop the tears from falling.

‘’You okay, mate?’’ JJ asked, walking around the sofa and sitting next to his band mate, who just nodded.  ‘’You sure? You don’t look well.’’

‘’I just wanna be alone right now.’’ Jaymi muttered, standing up and going to his room and laying in his bed, still in the onsie Olly bought for him. He pulled out his iPod and played the first song he saw, staring at the wallpaper. It was a picture of him and Olly, just after he proposed and it just made him miss Olly more. He felt his eyes water again ad this time he didn’t try to stop himself from crying. He gripped iPod and covered his mouth, trying not to sob out loud. He didn’t know if JJ was still in the flat, and he didn’t want to risk JJ hearing him cry.  Jaymi didn’t know how long he stayed there, just crying but his iPod ran out of batteries and his eyes were starting to hurt from all the crying he has done, but he just couldn’t stop. He didn’t hear his doors open, but he felt the bed dip when someone laid behind him. He quickly wiped his face, and took a deep breath trying to stop crying, before he felt arms around him and a voice whispering ‘it’s alright, I’m here, it’s okay’ and he was crying once again, because he was here, and he was telling him it’s okay to cry. Jaymi turned around and pressed his face in Olly’s neck, taking deep breaths, trying to talk.  ‘’I’m sorry.’’ He whispered, biting his lip to stop himself from sobbing again. Olly just kissed his head and pulled him closer.

‘’It’s alright, cry it out, honey.’’ And Jaymi really didn’t have a choice; he simply couldn’t keep it all in anymore. So, he cried and cried until he didn’t have any tears left and all he could do is sob and try to breathe. All this time, Olly just held him and kissed his head every couple of minutes and tell him it’s okay, making Jaymi cry even more. It was dark outside and he could barely see anything when he finally stopped crying. ¸He rubbed his eyes and looked up at Olly. He somehow managed to curl up in his chest, even though he was taller than Olly. Olly just smiled at him and stroked his cheek. ‘’Better?’’ Jaymi nodded and blinked up at him, sighing. ‘’Do you wanna tell me what’s wrong, babe?’’ Jaymi just shrugged, drawing a pattern with his finger on Olly’s chest.

‘’It’s just…’’ He trailed off, not really knowing how to explain. ‘’It just gets too hard sometimes, you know?’’ He muttered, glancing at his fiancé, who only nodded and ran a hand through Jaymi’s hair.  ‘’And I...I missed you and I couldn’t handle everything and I just…I didn’t know what to do.’’

‘’Shh, it’s okay, I’m here now, okay? I’m always here, baby.’’ Olly whispered, kissing Jaymi’s forehead. Jaymi nodded and tilted his head up, pressing his lips to Olly’s. He cupped Olly’s jaw and sighed against his lips, finally relaxing when Olly rubbed his back and threw a leg over his waist. He knew Jaymi good enough to know all he needed was someone to hold him and stay quiet, and that’s exactly what they did for the rest of their night. They simply cuddled, occasionally kissing and overall just enjoying each other’s company. Some people might not like the way Jaymi lives or with who he wants to spend his life with, but there are much more people who’ll support him through everything, and they were the ones who mattered to Jaymi.