stay away | m.c

o n e

kristel's

seeing their backs turned, it was all normal to me.

i told them to never talk to me again and they laughed at me, saying, 'are you serious?' and i looked at them dead in the eye and told them — even if i didn't want to — 'don't you fúcking get it? go away and don't fúcking talk to me again'

then i'd tell my mother that i want to go to another school. she would frown and lecture me for an hour but i know that she already took care of the paperworks because i heard her crying in the middle of the night, talking to no one but the cold and crisp wind.

and i would look at the ceiling for hours, contemplating about life then eventually fall into a deep slumber.

i didn't want to ruin everything for my mother. i don't want to hear her crying because of me. i don't want to make things harder for her.

but that guy whose hair stood out the most seems to be making it impossible.

* * * *

"morning, honey." i heard mom say in the kitchen while i was lazily walking down the stairs.

ugh

life.

"morning," i yawned, stretching my arms as i walked towards the sink. when i wake up, i gargle with mouth wash because i really think it's disgusting that you have morning breath and —  it's just disgusting, in general.

"your father left for work already." she said, preparing the plates and the utensils on the table. i nodded, looking at the clock that was placed on the wall while getting myself a cup and filled it with mouth wash. it was only 6:30 in the morning. i guess dad's going to buy medicines because i noticed that the bottle is almost empty. 

i spit the liquid out and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and turned the faucet on to clean the sink. 

sighing, i took the towel and threw it inside the bathroom. i normally eat breakfast before taking a bath but i'm going to school again, plus, i take the school bus on the way to school because she doesn't want me getting exhausted and stuff. i don't want to be left by the bus so i have to be quick on weekdays.

"the classical vinyl records are on the shelf by the television if you want to listen to them." i smiled at my mom's statement. she knows me so much. 

my mom told me to listen to classical music — like, mozart's music — because it calms you down if you're stressed or something. she told me not to listen to pop songs and rock songs because she doesn't want to hear the drums and the guitars. i ended up liking classical music and jean sibelius' and franz liszt are my favorite composers.

* * * * 

"love you, honey. be good in school." she kissed my cheek and then hugged me.

i thought of getting home-schooled again but father refused so i try to survive in school — hell, as they all call it but i actually enjoy school. you converse with people, know something about them and still admire them. and that's very beautiful because even if you saw and knew about their flaws, you still stay beside them. 

or maybe i just watched too many movies. i don't know if that's how it works in other schools but i made my point. i didn't really attend school when i was kid because home-school was my friend until we decided to end it a few months ago.