This chapters about Ana, aka, anorexia nervosa.
My eyes open as my stomach growls. My mind wonders off to food. But I know Ana won't approve.
I get up and walk into the bathroom. I turn on the shower and strip off my clothes. I look at myself in the mirror. I see a fat cow.
I don't see anything about me except fat fat fat. My gross floppy arms and legs. My thighs rubbing together. My fat fat rolls.
I sigh and hop in the shower. I finish washing up and then I step out. I get dressed and I brush out my brown hair and put it into a ponytail.
I sat on my bed and I saw Ana.
"Have you eaten everything today? " she asks while brushing out her silky while long hair with her fingers. She was perfect. And really skinny. You could see her collarbones, ribs, hipbones, and a lot of other ones. I wanted my bones to be visible like her. I wanted to be skinny and perfect. But Ana was going to help me.
"No." I mumbled looking down and walking over to my mirror.
"Good, because you're still fat, but don't worry I will help you." She says smiling and looking at me through the mirror.
Then she walks over, "you're going to be perfect."
I smiled. Ana was going to make me perfect.
Thank god today was Saturday so I didn't have to go to school. High school suck. I hate it.
Ana goes with me to school, she never does her work but always has straight A's. She's perfect.
"We're going on a run." Ana said putting her shoes on.
I sighed I really didn't want to go. I have been running every day this week and I was super tired.
"Can't we just stay inside today and I'll run tomorrow."
Ana looked up. I knew I shouldn't have said that. I should have just kept my mouth shut.
"What?" She said through her teeth. I looked down.
"Do you always want to be a fat lard! You can't be skinny unless you do what I say, You are going to sit here being a fatass and you will never be thin! I'm only trying to help you! Do you want to be a fat fucking cow the rest of your life!" She screamed at me
"No." I whispered as a tear rolled down my cheek.
Then she smiled her bony smile, "good."
I walked downstairs to get my shoes.
"Hey I made some breakfast it's on the counter." My mom chirped.
"I'm not that hungry but thanks." I mumbled grabbing my shoes and hurrying upstairs.
"I. Don't. Think. I. Can. Go. Any. Further." I breathed out.
"Just another mile, unless you want to quit." She told me jogging in place
I knew I couldn't quit. I couldn't disappoint Ana. She was only trying to help me.
"No I'll keep . Going."
Every step I took hurt. I could feel it in my whole body. I winced with pain as I went further. But I had to keep going.
We were finally done and I couldn't have been more happy. But when I got home Ana wanted me to do more workouts.
As I was drinking my water Some one knocked on my door.
"Come in!" I yelled as taking another sip
It was my brother Tim. My older brother.
"Hey um I was wondering if I could talk to you about something." He said standing in the doorway.
"Yeah come in." I said as he shut the door behind him. I sat on my bed and he came and did the same.
"Look Bella I'm worried about you." He said looking at me. "You haven't been eating and I'm getting worried."
I didn't know what to say. How did he know?
"He's jealous." Ana whispered to me. Tim didn't seem to notice her. "He wants you to stay fat so he can be the skinny kid." She whispered in my ear again.
"What's wrong bell?" He asked me as tears started to form in his large brown eyes. "Why do you do this to yourself?"
"You don't understand." I chocked out.
"Yeah I d-" he started to say
" no you don't understand Tim, you don't understand what it's like to be the fat kid. You don't understand what it's like to hate every single inch of your body!" I yelled
"You should hate yourself, I mean you are a fat hippo." Ana told me
He seemed shocked on what I had said. He didn't know what to say back.
"I have a lot of things to catch up on we'll talk later k." I said barely in a whisper while looking away.
"Ok." He mumbled quietly as walking out of my room and shitting my door."
Tim's P.O.V
I was so scared. I was so worried for her. She was a waking skeleton but she didn't see it. I could see her collar bones and hip bones, and her spine. She was going to die. She was going to starve herself to death. I needed to help her.
Bella's pov
I was sobbing so hard. I just wanted to be thin. My brother knew about this but I don't know how. I was still fat fat fat fat. I was nothing else but fat. I hated myself.
"Stop crying its giggling your fat and it's making you look disgusting." Ana snickered from across the room.
I nodded and whipped away my tears.
"Can I eat a little bit tonight I promise it will be no calories, and I'll even throw it up." I whispered
Ana walked over to me. "Drink this."
I looked up and it was a bottle of water.
"The water will fill you up, when your skinny you can eat. Pretty girls don't eat remember that"
I kept on repeating that over and over in my head. Pretty girls don't eat. Pretty girls don't eat.
I wanted to be pretty, all I had to do was not eat.
Note!
So I know this is pretty sucky, and short, but yeah. So that's it.
