Just A Little Bit Jaded

6. Halo

Jade's distress leaked into the UP as she slumbered. Tossing and turning in the hammock after her mother had left, Jade gripped for the threaded rope in her sleep. It didn't matter that the world was waking and the sun was shining down now.

Her dreams were dark. The nightmares were relentless as she tried to fight them. As she tried to run from them.

It didn't work. It never did.

~~~

School was a mess that day. As hard as she tried to concentrate, Jade couldn't keep her mind on the lessons. As hard as she tried, she couldn't write more than a paragraph for her English class, do more than two problems for math, much less wrap her head around the experiment in chemistry.

Frustrated as the day came to a close, Jade slammed her locker door, resting her head against the metal as she tried to regain her control. Her focus was slipping more and more these days, and every time it happened, she scolded herself. A Prime wouldn't lose control like this. If she wanted to be like Optimus, she had to pull together.

Primus, could a Prime even contemplate what it was like to experience human hormones and high school? Cybertron had had academies, of course, but somehow Jade doubted they were anything like the ones on this scrapping planet.

"Hey Letty." The voice was feminine and soft as a hand came to her shoulder. "You alright?" When she didn't turn to look at the new presence, she pressed further. "Letty, what's wrong?"

Taking a deep breath, Jade steadied her pounding spark before straightening. "I'm fine, Luna."

The blonde girl watched the brunette for a moment before embracing her tightly. "It's the nightmares again, isn't it? Were they worse this time? Was that man back?"

Even though Jade silently chided herself for it every time she confided in Luna, she couldn't help herself. The human girl was someone she trusted, someone who could understand the hormones and the fears she faced each day. Reluctantly, Jade wrapped her arms around Luna, giving a small nod. Surely even Primes needed to lean on someone occasionally, right?

"What did he do this time . . . ?" Luna asked softly. The halls had emptied a while ago, everyone in a rush to leave.

"He . . . He tore me . . ." Jade murmured, knowing the strange words would click in Luna's mind.

"Again?" Luna asked, her voice a whisper. "I think you should see someone about these nightmares, Letty. It's not normal. If I were you, I'd be living off caffeine and crack by now. You have to do something about this. It's eating away at you."

"I can't do that," Scarlett objected, pulling away from her friend. "I'm not crazy. I'm not weak. They're just nightmares. I'll be fine. It's not a big deal!" She argued. But the exhaustion in her eyes said otherwise. Luna's eyebrows stitched together in concern.

"Letty, it's not about being sane or strong . . . It's about making sure you're okay. There's nothing wrong with getting help-."

"Yeah, and then I'll be dependent on pills that make me a zombie for the rest of my life or something. No thanks. I'll be fine," she repeated. It didn't matter, though. No matter how many times she'd told herself those words, each night brought her some fresh version of hell.

~~~

"Wait!" Letty called out as people walked past. Her family had vanished from view, swept away in the crowd, not hearing as she called for them. She swore she glimpsed Daniel and Angel walking past as well, but it was nearly impossible to tell. "Luna!" Letty shouted for the patch of golden hair in the sea of bodies. No one heard. None of her friends responded as she called for them. Her family was gone. Her friends had vanished. Even Ashton . . . Even her twin didn't register that she was lost and sinking. Surrounded by air, Jade felt like she was drowning. She was invisible, yet surrounded by people. They all walked past, not acknowledging her presence at all. They walked right through her, but she struggled to move at all. It was like walking in jelly.