galaxies

[ii.] naomi

naomi; money

"d-do you, maybe, wanna go somewhere else?" the words stumbled out of my mouth, causing my cheeks to immediately burn up.

mental note: kick yourself later for blushing.

nick looked at me, his dark eyes seemed as if they went straight through my physical body and were now examining my inner thoughts, my soul, and my mind. i stared back at him nervously, taking this opportunity to study what he looks like with even greater vigor now that he is stood right in the light. his intimidating figure stood tall as i looked up at him from the ground. broad shoulders accompanied his long legs and arms, his presence was strong and unwavering. his hair was tucked away in a black hat and he was in a black t-shirt with beige shorts that stopped shortly before his knees. on his arm, the hint of black ink peeked through the sleeve of his shirt and i found myself wanting to lightly run my fingers on its toned surface.

"i, uh-" he blinked, snapping out of his daze and snapping me out of my intense staring, "where do you wanna go?"

i gulped. "i don't really know..." i'm not from here. why did i ask him to go somewhere?

nick's eyes lowered, "listen.. you seem nice and all, i just don't really know you-"

"i like soy burgers." i blurted, "is there a place that's still open right now?" i cannot believe i am being this... forward. i hope i don't look desperate. i thought i saw the ends of his mouth move before they settled back into a straight line, with a thousand internal voices ringing in my ears- he answered.

"nah, i'm sorry, just..not tonight."

my cheeks burnt up as he nodded his head in goodbye before disappearing into the shadows. music blared as a sliver of the party was revealed through the ajar balcony door behind me. what was i thinking? i have never done anything more than acknowledge a boy's presence in a room. i mean, i didn't do much, but i did do more than i usually do. i stayed thinking about our encounter with my legs pressed against the cool marble floor. i examined my surroundings, taking notice of the huge suburban houses with only their front garage lights on, giving glimpses of their true grand stature. expensive bicycles and intricate lawn gnomes sprinkled the nearby yards and i sighed at the thought of returning to my grandmother's one bedroom apartment -closet- in the city.

i wonder what it'd be like to live a life without worrying about money.

i mindlessly twirled the ends of my braids in between my two fingers, listening to the echoes of the music and wondering where the fuck i should go now.

-

lightly tapping to an imaginary beat on my brown purse, i gazed at the pink and orange hints of a sunrise in the sky from the bus window. after acknowledging the beauty of the environment around me, i observed the array of people separated into different parts of the bus as i waited for my stop. a woman in a housekeeper uniform sat two rows ahead of me on the right side of the bus. her ankles were neatly crossed and she looked straight ahead. her curly dark hair had hints of gray in it and her hands were intricately laced with light blue veins.

the woman reminded me so much of my mom.

i thought of the early mornings my mother and grandmother spent running around the apartment, getting ready, making breakfast, and cleaning the house. the air was filled with music from our home country and the smell of food from our one-pan stove. we were a happy and small cluster of three women though we were barely making it by. my grandmother spent mornings braiding my hair at the table as my mother made me food for breakfast and lunch to pack into my small pink bag. before we left the house every morning, my grandmother would bless my mother and i with hurried and hushed prayers until we made our separate ways. everyday i looked forward to the short amount of time i spent with my mom in the mornings. her schedule called for more time spent working for a better life for me rather than being able to be in it as much as she wanted. i learned later that she felt guilty about this, but even then i looked at her as if she were the sun and the moon. my sun and moon. we took a seat at our usual bus stop- her with her ankles neatly crossed and me with my dainty shoes dangling off the edge of the bench.

i looked up at her tanned face and observed her delicate features. people have told us that we shared the same button nose splashed with freckles and the same brown almond eyes. i liked looking like my mother and having hints of my grandmother on my face. she squeezed my hand when she caught me looking at her.

two stops later, i stepped off the bus into the cold morning air. i walked home careful to avoid the cracks in the sidewalk as i made my way back to the my grandmother's brick apartment building. the sky was becoming brighter with every passing minute motivating me to quicken my strides.

exactly seven minutes later, i was barely past the front door when i heard my grandmother's voice break the silence of the dimly light apartment.

"grace, is that you?"