Like Real People Do

Red Glowing Heart

The one with the relationship talk.

//

It was eerily quiet. Almost pindrop silence enveloped the tour bus, a feat which hadn't been accomplished for as long as I'd been around the band. The boys were all in the back room, doing their best to sing the twins to sleep, and when those doors were closed, it was like there was no one else around.

Or maybe it was the fact that it was nearly midnight. Either way, it was a strange thrill to feel so utterly alone. I spent my days so surrounded by people and children that it was somewhat of a luxury to have time to myself. I sat crosslegged on the couch in the bus's common area, sketching for the first time in what felt like forever.

Life has been pretty crazy the past couple weeks. Ever since Jaxon kissed me in the back hallway of a stadium, I've felt like my world has been on fast forward, in the best way possible. And it's not even because people know. Amy knows because Jaxon knew better than to keep that kind of secret from her and the boys know because, well, they're his best friends, but we've managed to keep the fact that we're together a secret from the general public. Not because we're intentionally hiding it or anything, but because we figured it wasn't really their business.

To be honest, I haven't quite wrapped my head around the idea of being in a relationship with Jaxon. It was like I spent so long daydreaming about it that now that it was actually a reality, I had no idea what to with myself.

That being said, our day to day lives hadn't changed much. I was still the nanny to the twins and the band was still on tour, which meant consistent traveling and not very much down time, but any quiet moments that Jaxon and I got together were incredible.

"I thought I might find you here."

I looked up from my sketchpad to see Jaxon stepping out of the hallway with the bunks, newly changed out of his stage clothes into navy pajama bottoms and a plain white t-shirt.

"Hey!" I smiled widely, feeling that beautiful fluttering in my stomach that I always felt when he entered a room. "Did they go down okay?"

He nodded, mimicking my sitting position beside me on the couch. "They were a little hyped up from the ice cream, but they're knocked out now."

"Good."

Flashing me a smile, he tilted his head to sneak a peek at my drawing. "Whatcha got there? A house?"

"Yep," I nodded. I wondered what it meant that I no longer had any reservations about showing Jaxon my art. "Audra told me that when she's older, she wants to live in a pink stone house with white shutters and a blue front door. So I thought I'd draw it for her."

She'd given me all the details over the course of the past month or so, but I hadn't gotten the idea to draw her a picture until last week, when I'd seen her completely mesmerized by the houses in the neighborhood we were driving through on our way to the hotel. I figured if I drew her a picture, she'd have something to keep with her always.

"That's nice," he whispered, though the expression on his face contradicted his words, because there was a sadness that darkened his eyes.

"What's wrong?" I asked, my eyes widening in panic as I worried that I'd touched a nerve. As fond as I had become of the twins and as much as they might like me, Jaxon was still their father and still knew better than I did what was best for them. "Should I not be doing that?"

"It's not that...," he assured me, shaking his head. "I just didn't know they craved a home so a much."

I hadn't even thought of it that way. I just wanted to do something nice for Audra and I figured she'd think the drawing was pretty. I didn't mean to make Jaxon feel like shit by implying that there was something missing in her life.