Cleo

chapter 5|| the box

There was no denying that I was anxious, I had been waiting for this moment since I was 15, the box stayed rested on my lap as I questioned myself if I was really ready to see what was left, I knew that I now missed her more than anything but was It anything more than a moment of weakness? Was I really as ready as I thought I was.

There was nothing that could make me deny my desire to look at the contents of the small brown box, but what could I expect from something the size of a shoebox? What would it hold that could be in any way valuable to me?

I thought about all the possibilities until I had made myself so anxious that I tapped a constant rhythm against the floor, it was a fast beat and it matched the one of my heart, needless to say it was a fast beat.

I lay the box on the floor staring at it intently, I needed to do this, whatever was in this box held the truth, I knew that only I could open it, it needed a key and that key was the necklace she had given me when I was just a child, it was a small red stone, it was only a piece, my mother had the other before she died, it only takes half to unlock this box but I suspect the other half, her half is in the box.

Unclipping the necklace from my neck I cautiously lean forward to the box, just as I am about to put the key in I hear a door slam, I quickly shove the box back into its original hiding place.

I checking the time and cursing as I realise that it's 8, I had spent 5 hours in my room, I ran downstairs in complete utter panic knowing the consequences that were to come, he would be home from the bar, drunk already, not far from passing out.

I slowly made my way down the stairs, each step was wary, I didn't want him to know I was here I just wanted to somehow make a diversion to escape, if I leave he won't notice, he'll be so drunk that he won't remember in the morning.

He drinks away his life, his emotions and any feeling that were ever present and all his hurt and pain was washed away with a beer, nothing was so bad that it couldn't be fixed by a good wine or two, he washed away mum and I years ago.

He was sitting on the couch staring at the blank screen a beer sitting next to him on the table and numerous discarded bottles on the floor, I took small steps trying to avoid him at all costs and make my way to the back door, "Cleo." I hear him say, there was no emotion, no anger and what scared me most was how calm he was, I stayed quiet and frozen, "Cleo, when I speak you answer me." He was a little bit louder this time but was still dead calm, "s-sorry." I mumbled speaking quietly not wanting to set him off.

He sighed standing up still not facing me, "I got a call from the school today Cleo." His voice was still calm, he lifted his bottle and took a large mouthful before throwing it to the ground, I flinched as it shattered into pieces, "Do you have any idea why I got a call from the school Cleo?" he growled, he still wasn't facing me, "answer me Cleo, I am your father!" he yelled, "I-I'm sorry I, something h-happened an-" he cut me off yelling once again in anger, "do you think I care Cleo, I got a call when I was at the bar!" he was practically dripping in anger his resentment for me clearly showing, the hatred was so clear in his eyes.

He finally turned around to face me, he strode forward taking slow steps, he looked at me as if I was something worth less than he was, he stepped onto the glass while slowly ascending towards me, he didn't flinch once as the glass embedded itself in his feet.

He stepped up close to me, I didn't dare look into his eyes, I already knew that they would be the same bloodshot red as always, "Look at me!" he screamed making me flinch, I slowly moved my head up to look into his eyes, he roughly grabbed my face, "you are nothing." He whispered lowly, "you will never be anything, you are not my daughter." His hold on my face tightened until I felt as if he was going to break my jaw and then let go and let me fall to the ground sobbing, I pushed myself up, I couldn't stay out in the open.

I made my way up the stairs pain pulsing through me, falling on my bed, crying myself to the point of exhaustion I thought my last words for the night over and over, I am nothing and I will never be anything I repeat as tears stream down my face, I get up and look into the small mirror on the wall my vision blurred by my own tears, coking on sobs I look into the reflection only to find a small broken girl who was the shell of what she used to be, I give the mirror one last look, "mirror morror please tell me, wheres the girl I used to be?

11/7/16