Marvel Imagines

pain | wanda maximoff

Pairing: Wanda x reader

Relationship: Friendship

Word Count: 1199

Type: Sad

Warnings: Talks about suicide

Requested by DoItForTheVine007

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People tragically take their own life for countless reasons. Perhaps their soul mate or significant other had died, or perhaps they were unloved, looked down upon and abused, or maybe, just maybe they thought life wasn't worth it. Nevertheless, they always think that by ending it, the world would be better. It would still be turning, millions of lives would still continue. Their existence was practically nothing but a tiny, tiny speck in the universe.

People think that by ending all that suffering, things would be okay again. It may be, for them, but for the living, it was a whole other story.

Death was sudden, quick. It may seem like the worst option but in reality, death was the easy way out of this complicated challenge of life. Living was the struggle. Living meant years and years of pain, anger, sadness, frustration, despair, betrayal and more. Living meant feeling things, and though it could be good the opposite also had devastating effects. Living meant being conscious for a longer period of time, while death meant quitting altogether.

So when one takes their own life, though it was better for them it wasn't better for the living, particularly for the people that loved them. Those who loved them would suffer. They would feel an unbearable pain, pain of losing someone they cared deeply about. They would weep endlessly until there were no more tears to shed.

You didn't see it coming.

One moment there was a smile on his/her face, and the next moment you receive a phone call telling you that your cousin had committed suicide.

You didn't see the signs. [Cousin's name] always seemed so happy, so joyful and radiant. He/she was a bundle of joy, spreading happiness wherever he/she went. You couldn't imagine him/her feeling so depressed, so done with this miserable world that he/she would end it all.

After getting the call, you sat in your room in the Avenger Facility for a long time. You felt like you couldn't move, you just felt numb. You were so close with your cousin, the two of you were basically siblings. You told each other everything, but apparently not everything since he/she didn't bother to tell you about his/her troubles, and decided to deal with it himself/herself instead and fail. You couldn't stay mad at him/her at that though, you were in too much pain. Grief had overtook your body and all you could think of was what you could've done to prevent this, what went wrong.

Why hadn't you seen the signs? Why must it come to this? Why did he/she have to die? What did you do to deserve this? What did he/she do to deserve this?

The questions spiraled in your head like a hurricane, growing stronger and stronger as you fueled it with more unanswerable questions. You were a wreck, an absolute wreck but you didn't care. So what if you had locked yourself in your room? So what if you were starving yourself? So what if you were sheltered from the judgmental eyes of the world, shielded by a blanket while you cried your eyes out? Were you not allowed to grieve? Were you supposed to stay strong like the hero people saw you as, like an Avenger?

Meanwhile, the other Avengers were incredibly worried about you. You were their friend and a valued member of the team after all, and you were clearly suffering. They wanted to help, but you had shut everybody out of your life right now.

However, one couldn't give up, and that was Wanda.

Wanda had been your friend ever since she had joined the team. You two were like siblings, completely inseparable. You had helped her through her brother's death, so she planned on repaying you by helping you through your cousin's death, even when you claim you didn't want or need help.

"[Y/N]?" she hesitantly called out from behind your closed door. She could've easily moved it with her powers, but she didn't want to use her powers on you, respecting you too much to do such a thing.

After some muffled shuffling, the door opened to reveal you; red nose, red, puffy eyes still filled with tears and hair disheveled. Exhaustion was evident on your worn-out face and posture, and Wanda didn't hesitate to pull you into an embrace.

You cried once more into her shoulders, unable to keep your tears in. Being comforted by someone broke your barriers again. You didn't know you needed it until now.

"It is going to be alright." Wanda cooed, rubbing your back, "you vill make it through zhis. You vill, because you are strong."

"Am I?" you whispered with a wavering voice, "because a strong person would've noticed if their cousin was on the verge of suicide."

"Yes [Y/N], you are." said Wanda firmly, "I know you are."

You allowed Wanda to hold you longer, knowing you needed it yourself. You were stubborn and prideful, but when your walls broke down you were like a child needing a mother.

"Why did he/she do it?" you whimpered.

"I don't know." Wanda confessed, "but it vasn't your fault, trust me. Zhis vas not your doing. You vere the best zhing zhat happened to [cousin's name]."

"But I wasn't enough." you protested, pulling away suddenly, "I didn't make him/her happy enough! If I did, this would never have happened!"

"No, [Y/N] zhere vas nozhing you could've done." Wanda said firmly, "he/she kept it a secret, you couldn't have known."

"But-"

"No 'buts' [Y/N]. Zhere vas nozhing zhat could be done." Wanda repeated, "blame zhe people who pushed [cousin's name] to the point of death. Never blame yourself."

You looked at Wanda's pleading eyes and slowly nodded. It would be difficult for you not to blame yourself, but you knew she was correct. You weren't psychic, you couldn't read minds or anything like that, and no one ever told you of [cousin's name]'s pain.

"It's hard. This is hard." you murmured, burying your face in your pillows, "how do you handle this pain?"

"It never gets any easier," said Wanda sympathetically, having been where you had been a year ago when she lost her twin brother, "but you vill learn cope vith zhe pain like I did."

"What if I can't?" you asked, "what if I'm not strong enough?"

"[Y/N], you are one of zhe strongest people I've met! I know you can do zhis, and I vill help you every step of zhe vay. All you need to do is try." Wanda exclaimed, holding your shoulders and squeezing them.

"What would I do without you Wanda?" you sighed, resting your head on your friend's shoulder.

"Zhe same could be said to you." Wanda smiled sincerely, patting your head.

This was going to be hard. It was going to take time and a lot of effort, and it will seem impossible sometimes. However, you had the support of your friends, who had lost people themselves. You had them by your side, every step of the way.

So you'd be alright.