Peace: Dreams

Chapter Thirty Two

Naomi woke up with a splitting headache and a throbbing wrist. The night before, she'd somehow managed to cut it up with the shard of a styrofoam plate. That's what she'd been eating off of since she used the paper one, and the glass one before that. She assumed that now they'd have someone feed her.

One of these days, she was finally going to be able to do it. She'd dig so deep into her flesh that they wouldn't be able to bring her back. Then she'd be gone and there'd be nothing that could stop her. Even if it meant that she went to any part of the underworld.

Someone would come to stay with her for the day. It'd be one of her friends, though she'd always beg them not to. Everyday, it was a different one. They moved in rotation so as to not trigger her into another relapse of cutting.

The jokes on them, Naomi thought, I'll do it anyways.

There was a knock on the door, and Ezra came in. He didn't ask anymore, none of them did, since Naomi would always say no. She didn't want them there, and they knew that.

"Another one?" he asked, voice low. He walked over to her bed, carefully taking her wrist to examine it. "What was it this time? Spoon again? Edge of the bed?"

"Styrofoam plate." she said. "I'll have to try the edge of my bed sometime. Sounds good."

"This isn't a joke." Ezra snapped.

"I'm not joking." she said back.

He wanted to say more, and she could tell. He wanted to yell at her, to tie her up and never let her out of his sights, to put her back to how she used to be. He wouldn't though. It was too big of a risk for him to lose her. She hated herself, but he didn't want her to hate him.

Ezra took a seat on the only chair in the room, staring at her. He was tense, and she had a guess why. She was pale, she was sad looking, she wasn't his sister anymore.

That is, if she ever was his sister in the first place.

She hadn't spoken to Nock at all in the last month and a half. She hadn't been to that room, or seen him. All of the professors were worried that the followers could strike at any time, so they had everyone training extremely hard.

"Do you hate us?" he asked.

"No." she said, and that was the truth. She didn't even hate herself. She hated who she had to be, and how it was that she had to live. Her entire life, she'd have to be afraid of people coming to get her. The followers of the stars weren't going to be the end.

"Why? Why do you do it then?" he asked. He was on the verge of tears, and she knew it.

"Because it'll go wrong. It'll all go wrong at some point and you'll all die if I don't go now." she said. "Just let me go and it'll be over."

Ezra stood so abruptly that the chair briefly tipped back on its two back legs, before coming back down with a bang on the floor. "How could you say that to me? How could you say that to your brother? Do you really think that I care so little for you that I'll willingly hand you the blade your use to stab yourself through the heart with?"

"No, but it was worth a shot." she said, shrugging.

"You're not you anymore, Naomi." Ezra said. "You're one of them now. You let them get to you, so they have."

"Fine, I did. But I'm trying to take myself out of the equation. If I'm X, then it'll all balance out if I'm taken away. It'll fizzle like a soda and everything will be back to normal." she said. "Why can't you see where I'm coming from?"

"Because we've all been training to protect you from dying!" he yelled. "Why would we let you kill yourself?"

"They wouldn't kill me." she said. "They couldn't since I'm Peace. If Peace dies then it's over."

"If you die, then all of our lives mean nothing." Ezra said.

"How? Those two things don't have anything to do with each other. You're not supposed to be the protectors of Peace. You're supposed to be normal kids at an academy." Naomi said.

"So are you! You're supposed to be a normal student too." he said.

Naomi scoffed, almost like she couldn't believe what he'd said. "Oh, come on. Be real with me. We've known our entire lives that I'm Peace. It's never been different. I was never supposed to be a normal student."

Ezra stood in silence, watching her. Everything was crumbling around him again. Every time he saw his sweet little sister in this room, he was brought back to when he saw the old woman's dead body in the hospital. When she flat lined in front of him. When she was wheeled away, with Naomi sobbing at his side.

Now Naomi was here, and he was going to lose someone he cared about again. He wouldn't be able to manage it this time. Sure, he'd loved the old woman, but Naomi was his sister. His one and only sister.

To make it even worse, she was doing it to herself.

"We've been discussing." he said, and his voice was tight and scratchy. "I was against it, but now I see that it has to be done."

"What?" she asked.

"We're breaking the wall you put in your head, Naomi." Ezra said. "We're bringing Peace back out."