Memories

Chapter Thirty-Two

"I didn't kill the president," Erik replied icily.

"The bullet curved, Erik," Charles stated, indignant at what seemed to be Erik trying to deceive him again.

"Because I was trying to save him; he was one of us," Erik retorted, and Erik didn't need to elaborate on what he meant be us. Everyone in the room knew- Charles knew.

President Kennedy was a mutant.

Charles didn't need to know how he knew, didn't need further clarification. Something in Erik's eyes told him how he came to know. Guilt.

He'd put Raven in danger to do it.

Raven had been a spy.

Charles knew his baby sister was perfect for espionage, and Erik knew it too. Erik, his mind so filled with strategies and plans, wouldn't miss the chance to learn more about his perceived enemies, wouldn't care who could get hurt. It was all in the name of his glorious cause.

There was no doubt in Charles mind that Kennedy was a mutant- Erik wouldn't lie, and that guilt was honest.

Horribly enough, a small part of Charles's guilt and fears eased. He no longer was in love with a cold-blooded murderer. Sure, he was in love with a man who was so bent on revenge and killing the man who'd killed his mother and tortured him that he'd paralyzed Charles, but that wasn't nearly as bad somehow.

Charles's side of the big mess of the family seemed to breathe a sigh of relief, glad to not be in a room with a killer. It made the whole situation more bearable, like a huge weight was lifted off all of their consciences.

"I'm still going out with my team," Charles said, instead of replying to what Erik had said.

Erik sighed, suddenly knowing he couldn't change Charles's stubborn mind. "Then I'm going with you with my team." Erik responded, and Charles smiled. Erik smiled back. But as quickly as Charles's brilliant smile was there, it was gone again.

"We're doing it my way, Erik. No killing," Charles ordered, his tone sharp and stern. Erik nodded reluctantly in agreement, knowing that this was Charles trusting Erik to listen, to do as Charles requested.

And Erik still wasn't wearing his helmet, so he couldn't disobey if he tried.

"Tomorrow, then," Charles said, smiling again warily.

The group soon dissipated, each going their separate ways to prepare for the mission, wether it was to train or to just unwind, or to process the argument that they'd all just witnessed while Charles went to spend time with all of his young children.

Then, a thought occurred to him. Could Ororo watch them all for that long a time by herself? Sure, Jean and Scott would help, but could they contain them for as long as they were out on a mission?

He hoped so.

All day, he and Erik spent time with the children. At one point, the twins had tackled Erik, and all of the other children besides Marie and Scott had joined in. Even Ororo had been drawn into their childish games, letting her free spirit run wild. Marie was too terrified to dare touch someone that much, terrified her skin might brush someone else's, and Scott was much too serious for such silly activities.

Charles worried about the two sometimes. Scott was never let himself go enough to have fun like a child should, and Marie's mind was too weighted down by fear and self-loathing for a child of her age. Charles hoped Alex would be good for Scott- hoped that with all of the adult, mature figures around him, that Scott would feel reassured enough to not always be on high alert. Charles also prayed that Logan and Raven would help bolster Marie's confidence in herself.

Every mutant should be a little hesitant to use their powers for fear of hurting someone- it was what ensured they wouldn't- but Marie took that to an extreme. It wasn't healthy, and Charles often debated on using his powers to alleviate her fears or even block her powers, but he felt she needed to learn control it on her own.

Even though Charles tried to hide how miserable he felt- how it almost felt like it was his last night on earth- he didn't do a very good job of it. That was evident in how Jean kept glancing at him, her eyes suspicious. Their minds, their powers, were so in tuned to each other that Charles could never hide anything from her very well.

While the rest of the children followed Erik to the kitchen to watch him make some old German dessert, Jean stayed behind. "You're going on another mission, aren't you?" Jean asked simply, a little frown in her face as concern filled her eyes.

"Yes, darling. You, Ororo, and Scott will be left in charge tomorrow until we return," Charles answered, an apologetic, sad smile on his face.

Jean nodded in understanding, hiding her emotions under a strong, determined facade. But, like Charles, she couldn't hide her emotions very well from him. He could feel her sadness, her fears, her worry, and her pride. She was sad he'd go, feared he would not return to them or someone wouldn't come back, worried about what might happen while they were gone, but was proud of them for wanting to save more people like them.

He smiled at her, reassuring and warm, and pulled her onto his lap. They sat like that for a while, Jean held in Charles's arms for comfort, until Erik finished making whatever it was and calling Jean and Charles in to try to before all of the other children ate it all.