I Will Always Love You...

There are a few things that attracted me to the caramel haired boy from the very start. You could say my attention span is lacking severly when i am around him. Its always focussed on what i fell in love with al those years ago. 

His hair, the way it falls over his foreheard, the way it sticks after sex, the way it is pushed back when he is frustrated or angry, or showering, the way that he has styled it the same way ever since i met him. The way he runs his fingers through it when someone doesnt understand him, the way its been so many colours, i couldnt count, the way i tug harshly on it, the way i stroke it when he is sleeping,  the way he flips his caramel coloured brown streaked hair is one of the many reasons i fell so deeply in love with him. 

His eyes, they way they dart over to me when i walk into the room, the way they roll back into his head after his orgasm shakes his foundations, the way he looks at details, eyes flickering to take in colours, shapes, sizes, the way they widen when he hears things suprising him, or when they scare him, the way they close just before his breathing regulates, the way they slightly close when he is on the verge of falling asleep, the way they squeeze shut when he gets into a song, the way they look up to me when i reach over him for something, the way he tears up when i showed him the wedding ring or when he walks out of the therapy sessions, and i am waiting for him, they way they are perfectly matching to mine, the way they stare into mine screaming out 'i love you' with each moment they are locked, is one of the many reasons i fell ever so deeply in love with him. 

His body, the way it shakes when he is cold, the way he is so responsive on stage, or after a show, the pre show jitters, the butterflies he gets when i try and kiss him, the way his hands run over my chest, the way his hips arch into my touch, the way he wiggles his hips ever so slightly when he walks away, the way his limbs fit perfectly to mine, the way his legs are so perfect, the way they jerk in random directions, then you know he is living his dream, when they spread shoulder width apart, his spit/water drenching the crowd, the way his arms fly up when he is mad, the way he huddles in a corner when he is sad or homesick, the way he begs for a moment to kiss or cuddle me when we are in bed, the way his body rolls when he tried to take his shirt off, the way he works out for certian tours, the way he can eat whatever he likes and still look like a prince, the way that i still dont know every space and inch of him, the way that he takes my hand and i feel like we are going to run away, the way his hands glide over the guitar, or hold the microphone, the way his lips touch mine, so slightly, or roughly, the way our limbs tangle beneath the white sheets of the hotel we begged to stay in, how his stomach is perfect and how he makes me feel when he uses his body the right way, how he dances to stupid music, his hips swaying in all directions, how when he sleeps he somtimes twitches, theres so many reasons i feel ever so deeply in love with him. 

His voice, the way it turns to a low groan when he is angry or aroused, the way it changes when he speaks to me, or a stranger, the way it gets shaky when he tells me about his past, the way it can make me feel special, and so astranged at the same time, the way it gets higher pitched when he is crying, the way it sounds when he wakes up, the shy 'good morning' he chokes out, his hot breath hitting my neck, the way he sounds when he warms up, the small noises that escape his mouth when he is holding back tears or laughter, the low moan he produces at the slightest touch, how his voice had changed peoples lives, the way he speaks when he stil has his retainer in, the lisp he gets when he is tired, the raspy voice he inhabits when he hasnt slept in a while, the whine that he gives in the morning, realising that he has a crushing hangover, the way his voice raises when he gets mad, the small voiced apology he makes after yelling at me, the way he is so articlate, the way he speaks around people who he barely knows, like how he spoke to my parents for the first time, and the way he speaks when hes had one to many wines, the way he says i love you before a show or before he goes to sleep, the way he mumbles sweet nothings into my ear at 2am in the morning, the way his pants tell me if im doing it right, the way he screams my name, the way his voice mumbles my name in his sleep sometimes, or screams his brothers when he is having a nightmare, the way his short breaths indicate the start of another painc attack, the way you can hear the excitement of him wanting to be on stage, the way you can hear him smiling over the phone, the way his voice sounds will always be one of the many reasons i feel ever so deeply in love with him. 

His personality, more than anything, the way when he meets fans, he doesnt pretend, he isnt fake, the way that i know it will never change, the way that words can trigger memories that make him mad or make me have a salty teared stained shirt, the way he refuses to disspoint people, the way his is indescisive, about small things, his love for halloween and space, how he thinks that the world is his oyster, how he embraces each day with a smile, but lets you know when its forced, how unexplored crevises of his mind come out when he is lying next to me, our limbs in a tangle at 3am where he utters the words "I love you Jack" in my ear. I will never get tired of hearing those words, those words, those actions are the reason i fell ever so deeply in love with him. 

I know you're 6 feet under the stars Lex, but i will never stop loving everything about you. Absoultely everything. I love you Alex, I see you soon Baby. 

Rest in Peace Baby, thankyou for giving the best years of my life. 

A/N: Yeah, 1162 words later that happened.