Campus

I wake up, my shoulders cold. The cool breeze of spring wafting into my dorm, rustling the papers I left on my desk. I pull my shirt on and walk out the door, and drag my feet along the floor, reluctant to leave the safety of my room. As I leave the T shaped building that I had grown used to living in; accepting the fact that the 4 years of freedom were coming to a close. As I round the corner the brick and mortar building, I see you walking across the campus; I feel like you're just one of those cruel professors that study the romances. The only thought in my mind, as I watch your walk through the stone and grass quad, moving as if you don't even know what you've done, like you don't have a care in the world, How am I supposed to pretend that I never want to see you again? How am I ever supposed to pretend? I never want to see you again. I stop and watch for what feels like an eternity, but in reality is only a few seconds. I inhale deeply, and continue forward. My long, confident strides bring me to and past you in the courtyard. A raised area of sidewalk catches my shoe, causing me to stumble slightly, just enough to spill kafir on your keffiyeh. You gasp in indignation, huffing as you pull the keffiyeh off from around your neck, seeing were the kafir spilled to. I become frustrated at myself for possibly ruining the expensive keffiyeh that I had bought for you for your birthday. You had said that you had loved it, and had put it on immediately. That was only two days before you started acting strangely, acting more and more distant to me. Eventually you had blocked my number and unfollowed and blocked me on all social media, just about completely cutting me out of your life. I knew it was over before it was, I just didn't want to make the first move. So you did, had your friend give me a note when I was supposed to meet you for coffee. And it was just over. We still had class together every day, so I was forced to see you every day. We get to the lecture hall, myself moving down the ten rows to the front where I knew you wouldn't be sitting. I sit in my seat and turn, expectantly waiting to see you walk through the door. You look inside and turn through the door, dragging your feet along the floor to your seat near the middle of the large room. As I watch, I can think How am I supposed to pretend that I never want to see you again?

The class flies by as it always does, ending as soon as it started. I'm sitting on the balcony above the bathrooms, just outside my dorm room, trying to fall asleep after class, when I see you walking through the quad in the afternoon you're on the stone and grass, while I'm sleeping on the balcony after class.