Today (well more like tonight) is my first day of writing in this journal. Today has been decent, I had a really bad anxiety attack this afternoon and I got so anxious that I ended up vomiting which has surprisingly been happening more often lately. I didn't actually feel as depressed as I use to but I still couldn't spend a single moment just in my head of else I would end up even more depressed than I use to be. Today I had a semi-inhabilitating (idk how to spell it) day because of my ocd. I spend 3 hours this morning cleaning the kitchen, 30 minutes rewriting the letter a on a note that I was passing off to my sister, 1 1/2 hours organizing all of my buttons (then I accidentally taped it with my foot so I had to start all over again), 4 minutes at the gate in front of our house, doing one of my rituals which is where I have to hit the gate 10 times before opening or closing it, then I also spend and accumulative 20 minutes on my popping ritual (rotating my neck 5 times, cracking it on each side twice, then popping each and every knuckle twice)I do twice an hour (unless resting, if just lying down just once an hour). There were some more of my rituals I did but the part focused on my ocd would be a little to long for me to feel comfortable with. On the part of self harm, I just used a rubber band on my wrist and since I was so focused it managed to do the job. That's all o can remember as of now, I'll be back tomorrow! Try to keep yourself looking chipper, even if your faking it it really does actually help, so just try to stay happy no matter you situation!
YOU ARE READING
The Journal of a Mentally Ill Girl.
Non-FictionI've suffered from depression for almost 7 years now and I'm just now coming to terms with it. This is just a way to push myself from doing things I'll regret like I use to. Sorry if I sound angst I'll try not to but it's hard to talk about this kin...
