Control Me

Chapter Two

   I stare out my window and listen to the music play behind the sweet sound of the wind. The blue sky has its flaws, the light grey clouds make random splotches.
Such beautiful flaws.
   My gaze slowly sinks to the far mountains. The sky seems to get a lighter blue the farther I look towards the mountains, but after them they become a darker grey colour. The building tips just peak over some of the grooves in the mountains. The exhaust from all the fancy business cars take over parts of the once beautiful sky. I don't know for sure if it was once beautiful but I'd like to believe so.
   I refuse to continue to look past the mountains so I focus on the forest line. It isn't overly far from the house, but the big empty field makes it seem so. The long dried grass makes it look like a plane from Africa.
   I look up to compare my drawing. I once tried to draw the view from my west attic window. I stood in the middle of the room, shading the most beautiful oranges, yellows, reds and some shades of green together on the canvas. I also drew the mountains, but when I did, I drew what I believe was once behind them.
   The sky would be the continued lighter blue colour, with the light grey flaws scattered throughout it. There would be a few birds littered in the sky, soaring so high the mountains looked just like a rocky valley.
   The birds would be the blue ones I see here all the time. There would be a few of the red ones, too.
   I've heard Caleb call the blue ones Blue Jays before. They seem so pretty. I wish I knew the red ones names. They are also very pretty. To me they look like Blue Jays, but only red.
   A knock on my door rips me apart from my imagination. "Oh, yes? Come in!"
   Caleb opens the door and just stands there gazing over my bruised and beaten body. I forgot I'm just in a baggy t-shirt and underwear, I woke up in them.
   I slowly pull my shirt down. "Yes? Did you need anything?" I stare at him until he answers.
   "Uh, yeah. I was just about to leave and I though I could get a, uh, a hug goodbye." His eyes wonder back down to my body.
   I cock my head in question. "You're leaving early?"
   "Yes, Jim can't get the tractor working so I'm just, uh, going out there to, uh, to help him with his, um, stuff." He trails off, slowly walking towards me. He's holding his hands out to my barely covered hips. His eyes glimmer in hunger.
   I clear my throat and march into my closet, "Yes. I'll just put my house coat on and then you can be on your way."
   Once I wrap the string tight around my tiny waist, I peak out at him. He's looking at my most recent drawing.
The one of the girl.
   His eyebrows slightly furrow together, "Who's this?" He looks up at me, holding the bottom corner of the image.
   I shake my head, holding my chin a little higher. "A girl." I say, pretending I don't think anything of it. "I got bored of drawing my usual nature, so I drew a girl."
   I walk to him and hold the other corner of the image. He lets go. "Oh. I see. Well, it's very nice, but I do enjoy your nature drawings." His jaw locks and his eyes meet mine. I see a little sorrow in them.
   "You don't like my drawing?" His lips twitch and my jaw drops a little in hurt. "I haven't fished colouring her yet," I point out, hoping maybe that'll change his mind. "I still have to do her-"
   "Eyes. Yeah. I can see that." He turns away from me and looks out side the west window.
You knew you shouldn't have drawn her.
   "Caleb?"
   "Hmm?"
   I set a gentle hand on one of his tall and lean shoulders. "Caleb, are you okay? You seem bugged? Is something bugging you? If there is we could talk about it."
   His shoulders tense as he balls his fist. I gasp as he suddenly hollers, "No! Ingrid I'm fine! I don't have anything to talk about and even if there was you would continue to do it!"
Oh no. It's about the drawing!
   I hold very still. "Caleb, what am I doing wrong?" I speak so softly he looses tenseness for a moment.
   After my moment of hope, he continues his rage, "I know why you drew the girl! She's fake, Ingrid! You can't love a drawing!"
   I open my mouth to defend myself but instead I rethink what he said.
   "You can't love a girl, either."
   I bolt my head up straight and see the pure betrayal in his eyes. I blink multiple times, taking in his last sentence.
   Before I can do anything, he's already going out the bedroom door and stomping down the wooden stairs.
   I run after him, "Caleb! Caleb please!"
You don't want him to come back.
   "I don't feel that way!"
You're lying.
   "I just got bored!"
You drew her for a reason, Ingrid.
   "Caleb!"
   I go smashing into his chest. "Caleb! I don't feel that way! Please let me explai-!"
   Before I can finish his lips are smashed against mine. I calm down a bit but knowing this isn't what I want.
   He breaks the kiss and pulls me into a hug. "I have to go."
   And with that, he kisses my forehead and leaves me standing on the bottom step in shock.
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