Holding On

Chapter 53: Give Me Love

Allison's P.O.V.

He turned around as he heard Derek and I walking towards him.

His eyes looked straight into mine. I couldn't move. He ran up to me and gave a tight hug. His hug was warm and made me feel safe.

"I missed you"

I didn't notice Derek walking away to unlock his door until I heard him call for us.

We entered his apartment and it looked exactly the same. We sat on the couches and sat in awkward silence.

"I'm hungry" I was trying to break up the silence while also trying to make them smile.  They've been looking at me with pity the entire time. Plus, I was extremely hungry all I've eaten was an apple and orange juice. 

Luckily they both laughed.

"You haven't changed at all" hearing Ryan's voice again calmed me. I completely forgot why I left him.

"Nope" I smiled making them laughed again before my stomach growled making us laugh harder.

"I'll order Pizza" Derek added

After the pizza arrived I realized Derek had ordered three boxes.

"Why did you order three large boxes of pizza?" I questioned him and I could tell Ryan was thinking the same thing.

"Because you would've eaten one box by yourself and we're two guys we eat a lot ourselves." We all laughed. I missed these guys.

They ended up eating their entire box of pizza and half of mine. I ate 4 sliced and was done.

"I can't breathe!" I said out of breathe that was to much food for me. They both laughed. I tried to but it made my stomach hurt.

They ended up ignoring the marks on my body. We watched a couple of movies which reminded me of the good old times. I caught Ryan staring at my bruises a couple of times but when he noticed saw him he gave me a small smile and looked back at the tv.

The two geniuses decided to put The Conjuring on. I like scary movies but I can't watch them alone and they know that. Since I was sitting on one couch alone I moved to the large couch they were sitting on.

When the girls heard the knocking near the wardrobe and the ghost jumpwd on top of the older sister I jumped and hid my face in someone's chest. I heard both of them laugh at my reaction.

"Shut up" I said with my face still hiding. When I finally looked up I realized Ryan was holding me. We made eye contact that was broken away from screams in the movie.

I saw Derek distancing himself after that.

Once the movie was over Ryan left to go home. I gave him a hug and he pulled me in tightly. He buried his head in my neck.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you" I felt my neck become slightly wet from his tears.

"Ryan, I left you. It's not your fault."

"But.."

"No, you couldn't have known. But you are here now and that's all I care about." I cut him off. I didn't want him to feel like it was his fault. It wasn't. I thought so low of myself and I let go the people who really did care about me. I honestly still don't think I deserve Ryan or Derek but one thing for sure is that I don't deserve Brian.

He lifted his head from my neck and held my check with his hands. We looked straight into each others eyes. His eyes were so warm and caring. I felt safe. I knew I was safe. I was so use to Brian's eyes that I felt weak looking into Ryan's eyes.