Two Veils to Hide my Face

1. The point is, I don't objective women

1. The point is, I don’t objective women

            Normally, when one person would like to wake another up, they do so in the gentlest way possible, like a soft tap. A calling of a name. Gentle shaking.  Even kissing is sometimes acceptable (refer to fan fictions for more how to on that one). The bottom line is, anything is better than waking up to your stereotypical jock-of-a-roommate, Karson, coming in from an all nighter.

“DUUUUUUUUDDDE. You missed some awesome hot pockets last night. They were all over me.” Karson paused to stagger father into our box like dorm room, before taking a swig of milk (directly from the carton, I might add) and continuing.  “AND SOOOOO DRUNK! One of the hot pockets even asked if I had a friend. I would have set you up man.” Kar, as he often insisted I call him, sat down on our futon with an “ommph,” searched around in the cushions a bit, pulled out the treasure of three-week-old Doritos, and began happily munching away.

I was disgusted at his lack of hygiene, and the fact that he called every female ever, including professors, hot pockets. Groaning slightly, I made my way out of bed and towards the bathroom before Karson had even turned on ESPN.

I live in a CO-ED residence hall on the UT Austin campus called Carothers. It was okay as far as dorms go, the “community baths” freaked me out to the max, but the Quad and reading room made up for it. During the dog days of summer, I would sit inside the Joynes Reading Room all day, reading my favorite novels. As soon as the hottest days passed, you could find me in the Quad with my sketchpad in hand.

By the time I showered and changed, Karson had somewhat sobered up and was ready for an explanation.

 Upon seeing me enter the room he questioned, “Seriously N, why weren’t you there?”

Ummmmm, because IM NEVER THERE? I’ve Never gone, never will.

“The hot pockets missed you. They wanted some nerdy boys to hook up with.” Karson wiggled his bushy eyebrows.

I rolled my eyes and grabbed a sweatshirt before saying, “I just, don’t like to objectify women I guess.”

With that I slipped past the 6-foot-1-football player (who was still trying to figure out what “objectify” meant) and made my way to the campus hole-the-wall of a coffee shop. Nobody really knows about it, its one of the cool little places you find in Austin that really…well…keep Austin weird.

The drip was far enough away from Carothers to make me climb into my Jeep and drive to the cramped parking lot. By the time I squeezed the jeep into a compact car spot, it was almost time for my first class, calc 3. I walked into the retro themed shop and ordered the usual, a healthy chai tea, then paid quickly and went back to the car.

Upon start up, the jeep decided to play my favorite song.

“Life is so strange when it's changin', yes indeed 

Well I've seen the hard times and the pressure's been on me 

But I keep on workin' like the workin' man do 

And I've got my act together, gonna walk all over you “

 

            Tapping the steering wheel to the beat, I backed out of my space, preparing my voice for the chorus.

“Gimme back my bullets 

Put 'em back where they belooooong 

Ain't foolin' round 'cause I done had my fun 

Ain't gonna see no more damage done 

Gimmeeee b-”

My singing/air guitaring abruptly stopped, along with my car, which had, as it seemed, run into an immovable object.

“Sweet talkin' people done ran me out of town 

And I drank enough whiskey to float a battleship around”

 

            Craning my neck, I turned around in my seat to examine the wreck. A little, beat up 1990 VW Beatle’s bumper was smashed right up to mine.

“But I'm leavin' this game one step ahead of you 

And you will not hear me cry 'cause I do not sing the blues”

 

            Suddenly the Beatle’s car door was opened and slammed shut by a petite, long brown haired girl in a hook ‘em horns! shirt. She looked majorly pissed off.

 

“Gimme back my bullets 

Put 'em back where they belong 

Ain't foolin' around 'cause I done had my fun”

            As I watched she walked up to my car and rapped her knuckles loudly on the window. I scrambled out of my catatonic state and rolled the window down.

            “Who the hell let you pass your driving test? Do you know how much duct tap it’s going to take to fix my bumper? I am a starving college student. Does it look like I am made out of money to you?” Her eyes were a deep blue, the kind of blue you see once in a lifetime. To say I was having trouble focusing on her words would be an understatement.

“Been up and down since I turned seventeen 

Well I've been on top, and then it seems I lost my dream” 

            “Hello?! Are you dumb or can you just not hear me over your stupid music?!” The girl waved her hand in front of my face. I blinked a few times before replying.

            “Lynyrd Skynyrd.” She rolled her eyes at the fact that I couldn’t form actual sentences about my taste in music before a look of understanding came over her features.

            “Oh. I get it. You’re one of those dumb jocks who thinks he’s SO cool. You’re probably still drunk form last night’s party, huh, loser? “ She huffed loudly and came closer, “Well I have something to say to you. I HATE your type. You think you’re the shit, when really your not. Maybe you’re “popular” now, but in 40 years you’ll be fat, divorced, and working as a part time mechanic in New Jersey, constantly living in the shadows of your glory days. If you can call being an idiot and treating girls like they are worthless glory days.”

            She finished in a low and dangerous voice before turning on her heel and storming off. A few seconds later, I heard a resounding slam of a door and a car staring up and driving off.

     "I don't objectify women?" I said to the genral direction of her fleeting car. 

 

“Gimme back, gimme back my bullets 

Oh put 'em back where they belong 

Gimme back my bullets”

Yeah. Not going to make my 9:20 math class all the way across campus.

 

 

A/N Hey love bugs. New story! Comments? Improvements? The song is Lynyrd Skynyrd Gimme Back My Bullets. If you don’t lynred skynred, they are a 70’s rock band. Hey! Fynn and Charlie are in Texas, rock Music is a thing.  Charlie's car is on hte sideeeee. Okay. I love you  

-thewayyouwere