Inured

When the Sky Clears

When I close my eyes and draw the chilled December air into my lungs, I still feel us gliding over those frigid tiles of the kitchen floor with the smell of whiskey on my breath. We swayed in a motion meant to be dancing to a tune none other than the whistling breaths held in our chests and the restless beats of two hearts in synchrony. Our swift movements created an indescribable ambience that was near blissful, yet with an underlying sense of hopelessness. In that instant, neither of us had the hit of desire for the future or anything beside being in this specific moment in time. One of his hands rested on the small of my back, the other placed deep into the crease forged between my shoulder blades, ever-so-gently pressing me against his chest. This night was no more extravagant than the next, the same way a single diamond is only as shiny as the rest in the necklace. Of course not all days gave way to such perfect nights, as could be expected from the pairing of such extreme personalities, one self destructive and the other short tempered. Some nights caused just as much pain as others did joy. All the while, trying to heal our gapping wounds from those less than perfect nights. Separately and silently, we withered away, tearing each other to shreds of the people we used to be. We mangled one another with words sharper than icicles and colder than frost and together we created a blizzard. Our storm, like any other, came and passed, but not before eroding its surroundings. The damage that was once hidden by the frantic gusts of ice and snow, gradually became visible through the gaps in the coverage. Slowly, with each day, the raging atmosphere dwindled until the wind had settled and the landscape lay frigid and barren. Anyone who'd stayed to witness the end could attest to the presence of the bone chilling silence that found a way overwhelm the involved parties and leave the onlookers speechless. In the absence of chaos, we had nothing to distract from the thoughts within our minds that we'd so tirelessly avoided. In this moment, the utter lack of everything we had once known rendered us vulnerable to ourselves. Even though our colliding caused the detrimental whirlwinds, being left alone with ourselves terrified us more than any forecast could have.