"Oh...um...this is awkward." Star whispered to Ferguson, her itchy overcoat about to drive the princess insane. Ferguson lowered his sunglasses, setting his wig askew upon his head.
"Nah. We spy on all of Marco's dates." Ferguson said, nudging Star's arm and pointing to the boy three rows down. "See? Alfonzo's right behind them and they don't even notice him. They're in their own little world."
"Maybe it's that fake mustache that's throwing them off." Star replied, scratching at her own. "Oh my gosh, I don't know how you guys can deal with these things. The hairs keep going up my nose and in my mouth."
"You'll get used to it after you come spying a few times." Ferguson said, adjusting Star's hat. "Your hair isn't exactly staying covered."
Star sighed, pushing a few stray chunks back up under her top hat. "I knew I should have just left it down."
Ferguson shook his head. "Star, you're the only person with waist-long blonde hair in this entire city. Marco could see right through your disguise."
Ferguson wiggled around, trying to make his mother's dress more comfortable. "Maybe I shouldn't have used watermelons."
Star rolled her eyes, giggling. "Imagine if they just fell out. It's not like you used...support or anything."
"Do you know how hard it is to find a watermelon-sized bra when you're a fifteen year old boy?" Ferguson retorted, and Star patted his shoulder sympathetically.
"It's okay, honey." she said, and quickly pulled her hand away. "Ferg, they're moving." she hissed.
"Oh, crud." Ferguson said. "Help me. You're a girl. What are hey supposed to look like?"
"Uh, you take the one on the right." Star whispered, moving around the left watermelon as best as she knew how, and turned around to see an elderly couple gasping.
"It's not what it looks like." Star said to them, making her voice as deep and husky as she could, which was a failed effort. "Ferg, people are staring."
Ferguson had entertained himself by wiggling his watermelon up and down, noticing Star's disapproving scowl. "Your watermelon doesn't look right." he said, and Star raised an eyebrow.
"And how exactly would you know?" Star replied, leaning over and adjusting the right watermelon. "There. Now just stop...touching them."
"Look." Ferguson said, pointing to Marco a few rows down. "He's doing the move."
"The move?" Star asked, and Ferguson sighed.
"You know, when a guy pretends to yawn-" he demonstrated, reaching his left arm up in the air, "and then he puts it around the back of the her seat."
This also involved a demonstration, earning them more strange glares. Star looked over at Ferguson, furrowing her eyebrows.
"That's the move? Wow." she muttered, not impressed. "Come on, Marco's done that with me at home a million times, and it takes him half an hour with Jackie?"
"Shhhhhhhh." the elderly couple behind them hissed, and Star turned around to say something nasty before feeling Ferguson's hand on her shoulder.
"Don't." he said, and Star slumped down in her seat. "Really? Marco does that at home?"
"Yeah." Star giggled. "I always thought it was a real yawn. I'll have to mess with him a little more now since I know he's subtly flirting."
"Ooh." Ferguson said, clapping his hands together quietly. "What are you gonna do?"
Star shrugged, noticing Ferg's arm around the back of her seat. "You know." she replied, lifting his arm up and putting it on her shoulders. "Batting my eyelashes, moving in closer, resting my head on his shoulder...maybe just a little...kiss on the cheek to throw him for a loop."
She demonstrated the last part by nuzzling her furry mustache up against his cheek, and Ferg made a face.
"My God, now I know how girls feel when they kiss guys. Your face rat is terrible." Ferguson said, and Star laughed.
"It's awful. High school guys think that it's cool to have facial hair but the only thing it does is gross out the girls."
"Huh." Ferguson replied. "Oh, hang on, Alfonzo's giving us hand signals."
Star squinted. "What's he saying?" she asked, and Ferguson held up a hand.
"He's saying something about...flirting. Lots of flirting. Apparently Jackie's trying to hold his hand."
Star wasn't sure why that bothered her, but it definitely bothered her.
"Oh, oh my goodness." Ferguson said, grinning. "He's going for the gold during a romantic scene. Cliché, but definitely Marco."
Star clenched her fists. She assumed that 'going for the gold' was Ferg speak for either a kiss or picking his nose, but the first one seemed more likely. "Great for Marco." she grumbled. "You know, maybe I shouldn't have come. It feels weird watching something so...personal."
"You're jealous." Ferguson bluntly said.
"Wh...what?" Star asked. "I am not jealous. I'm happy for Marco, that he's finally going out with the girl he's been in love with for ten years! It just feels like such a private moment."
"You're jealous." Ferguson stated, putting a hand on Star's shoulder. "It's okay to be jealous. You should probably tell Marco, though."
"Shut up." Star muttered, putting her chin in her hands and staring intently at the movie screen where some horribly animated monster was terrorizing a family with several small children.
"Look, I'm sorry if I offended you." Ferguson said. "The Ferg only speaks the truth."
"That's my problem." Star sighed. "I didn't ask to be jealous. It's just...we don't spend as much time together anymore, and everything is Jackie this and Jackie that which was okay for a little while, but now I'm just getting sick of it."
Ferguson chose his next words very carefully. "Do you think...that maybe...there's a chance you might possibly...like Marco?"
Star shrugged. "Of course I like Marco. Everyone likes Marco. What's not to like about Marco?"
"I meant like-like." Ferguson said. Star's cheeks turned red.
"If I told you that you had lipstick on your teeth could we change the conversation?" she asked, and Ferguson shook his head, and then rubbed at his front teeth with the end of his sleeve.
"Do you?" he asked.
"Shut up." Star repeated. "I love Marco, but we're just friends."
Ferguson slyly smiled, pointing down at Jackie's head on Marco's shoulder.
"So then that doesn't bother you, right?" he asked, and Star visibly cringed.
"She's moving too fast." Star mumbled. "When I was dating Tom we didn't even hold hands until the fourth date, and didn't kiss until the seventh date. This is only their third date."
"You love Marco." Ferguson chanted in a sing-song voice.
"Keep it down! He might hear you." Star hissed. "I mean, uh, someone might hear you."
"Star and Marco, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i--"
Star clamped a hand over Ferg's mouth, her cheeks bright red and the hearts glowing ferociously. "We do not! I mean, we didn't...we never...just be quiet and watch the movie."
Star crossed her arms, putting them on the empty seat in front of her and laying her head down in her newly created cradle.
"Your hearts are glowing." Ferguson whispered after a minute. Star sighed, moving her hands and covering her cheeks.
"At least humans can hide it when they're embarrassed. My face literally glows."
She took a deep breath, pursing her lips and blowing out the air. The fake mustache was really starting to get on her nerves.
Ferguson loudly cleared his throat, pulling Star in a tight hug towards him and keeping her face away from the movie screen, where a woman was seductively unbuttoning a man's shirt. Star pushed against Ferguson's chest, the watermelons wiggling around once more, and whirled around to see Marco leaning in towards Jackie. Her eyes narrowed as she looked at Ferguson, her mouth falling wide open.
Ferguson smiled, giving Alfonzo a hand signal.
"CAW! CAW!" Alfonzo screeched, startling both Marco and Jackie (and half of the movie theater patrons) and causing them to smack their foreheads together instead of kiss. Marco's popcorn flew up into the air, falling upon not only him and Jackie but also several people in front of them.
They both appeared to be fazed, stuttering insufficient apologies as their words stumbled over one another, apologizing to each other and the angry people in the eighth row.
Suddenly the man on screen disappeared into thin air, the movie screen going dark as the credits began to roll.
Star hadn't been paying attention to the movie but based on the exasperated gasping and the complaints from the elderly couple behind her and Ferguson, it was easy to conclude that they'd been left with a cliffhanger ending.
"And so it ends." Ferguson said. "The boy, left without a kiss, and the princess, longing to deliver one."
"Shut up." Star replied, punching his arm playfully. "Your watermelons are falling."
"Dang it." Ferguson whined, and Star rolled her eyes, dramatically sighing.
"You owe me for this." she said as the movie theater lights slowly turned on, revealing their awkward position to the packed theater.
