Running

* Author's Note *

I don't own any of the Helen Grace characters (though I sometimes wish I did). This is just my interpretation of what happened when Amy was going through the woods and trying to find civilization.

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I stumbled through the forest, not knowing which way was out, not caring. My body needed water, craved water, pined for any drop of water it could have. I was running on empty, our of gas. I didn't know where I was, all around me were trees. Dark, gloomy, looming trees. They were my enemy in this fight to survive.

I was dehydrated, starving, not caring any more whether I lived or died. I tried to cry out, tried to call for help, but my throat was so dry I hurt to open my mouth. My cracked, peeling lips were against me. They had started bleeding hours ago. I sucked up the blood without humiliation, but now my body was empty again.

I could feel my systems failing. Already my stomach had stopped growling, my bones felt brittle and weak, like they would crack with a single fall. My hair was dry but not greasy. If it had been I would've drank the grease by now. My eyes felt heavy in their sockets, ready to pop out.

And then it hit me. The sick realization that turned me from someone trying to survive into a raging psychotic animal, someone who scared passerby and forest animals.

Only a few hours ago, I shot my boyfriend.

We were trapped in a sick game of Eeny Many, forced to kill the other or both die. I think we both know I would do it. Eventually, one of us would've.

"Do you want to live, Amy?" She'd said, although she already knew the answer.

The image of his body is still fresh in my mind. Face down at the bottom of the pool, the blood polling around his forehead, the bullet holes wound fresh, attracting bugs and maggots. I made it quick and painless. I had to, there was only one bullet in the gun.

I remember the woman's sick voice coming out of nowhere, congratulating me on my "accomplishment" and "bravery". The light I through I saw as the rope of lowered over the side of the pool wall.

I wonder what he would think of me now. This sick, feral creature who doesn't know the difference between up and down. I am happy he's dead, in a way. Happy that he had peace before we both descended into madness.

I attempt to walk faster, to no avail. My body is going at its maximum speed, barely more than a slow crawl. But then I see a light, and I go closer, praising a God that I don't belive in. 

Only it's the pool house again. I try to turn back, but not before I see the corpse of my beloved. The maggots have swarmed the wound at this point, feasting on the blood and dead flesh. Was this woman's plan the whole time to release me, only to have me die in the wild, going in circles until I join him in the pool? No, I will not let her win, he wouldn't have wanted that for me.

I consider going back into the pool, doing unspeakable things to his body, just for energy and survival. But I turn away, I won't sink to that. I won't give her the satisfaction.

So I stumble through the woods again, this time driven by the crazed animal I have unleashed from its captivity inside my brain, allowing it to propel me forward.

She will not win! She will not win! She will not win!

I see another light, only this time it isn't the blue glow of the pool house, it's instead sterile and white.

She will not win. She will not win. She will not win.

I run as fast as I can towards it, having all I have into this last bit of energy.

SHE WILL NOT WIN! SHE WILL NOT WIN! SHE WILL NOT WIN!

I collapse, rabid, in front of a strange man. He looks down at me in terror. I must look like a psychopath, or a wild animal. I might be both of those things now. I see him, eyes wide, take out his phone and dial 999. The police will be here soon, he says. You'll be okay, just hold on, he says.

I hang on to my last spark of consciousness as the world begins to darken. The last thing I see are his back shoes in front of my face, screaming unintelligible words at me.

She...will...not...win...

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Months later, I see on the news that the police "found" the woman responsible for my kidnapping and many others afterwards. And by "found" they mean that DI Helen Grace was forced to kill her. Good. Serves her right.

As I saw Grace's face on the screen, I saw a sad, lonely soul that mimics mine. Even though this case was solved, I couldn't shake the feeling that things were about to get worse for her and her department.

That poor should has no idea what's coming her way.