Austin didn't even bother running off; he didn't even care anymore. But that didn't mean it wasn't absolute torture, just watching as they took his sister away, never to return. She hadn't turned out okay, there was no happy ending. That only happened in the movies.
And then he found he didn't even have any control over his emotions. He found that he was on the ground, on his knees, wailing like a four year old.
It was surprisingly easy, to let himself be lost in the complicated thoughts that occupied his brain. He knew that if he wanted to, he could calm himself, grieve in silence. But if he didn't care anymore, there was no point. No matter how pleasant he could force his self to act, though he'd of course be dying inside, his sister would still be gone.
Dead.
He let his body shake with sobs. Then Ally was at his side, and she was hugging him, and telling him that he would be okay, it was going to be okay.
The very small part inside of him that was still thinking, that wasn't being controlled by the pain of loss, felt a little sorry for Ally.
She tried so hard, comforting him at his weakest, never leaving his side. Yet Austin knew she would have to try extra hard to relieve him of this trauma.
If he could ever be relieved.
Ally felt as though she were being physically impacted, it was like being punched in the stomach each time Austin let out another cry. The other times that she had seen him cry (which was not often), he was never as afraid, as alone.
She remembered Rebecka's words, her wish for Ally to help him through his misery. From experience, she knew that at some points he'd feel even worse that this.
She vowed to herself, to Rebecka's spirit, that she would stay with Austin, guide him if necessary.
But there was a feeling that he wouldn't make it especially easy for her. And a fear that she wouldn't be able to help him.
Even just seeing her boyfriend being mentally torn apart was killing her. She didn't want to have to see this.
Yet her love for Austin was compelling her to stay. She helped him off the floor. If he was going to have a breakdown, might as well not be in the middle of the ground.
Something occurred to her. Two weeks ago, they were in the reverse situation, she was the one with the emotional overload. But did he give up on her? No. It must have been just as stressful for him, with her not letting him know the truth at first. But he didn't just let her go.
And Ally was determined to act the same towards him.
"Austin," she said gently. He didn't respond, though she wasn't really expecting him to. "How about-do you wanna go outside?" Again, he didn't acknowledge her. Again, that didn't matter. "C'mon Austin. We're going to go take a walk outside."
Austin let himself be led out of the hospital by Ally, but he didn't break out of his state. She was too sweet, he knew he didn't deserve her to still be at his side. And he felt bad, because despite her efforts to help him, he would still be shattered. He couldn't help it.
By the time they got outside Austin had stopped crying out loud. Tears still streamed down his face, but he was mourning silently now. They walked next to the building, but different than normal. More separate. Austin kicked scattered rocks along the path, Ally let her hand slide across the rough wall. They had only been a few minutes in the courtyard, and Austin stopped.
Ally turned to him. His eyes were so sad, lost. "Ally," he moaned softly.
"Yea, Austin? Are you okay?"
