teenage dirtbag.☽☾ [ 5sos +jdb ]

☽ eighteen ☾

luke

There she was. One of the most beautiful girls I knew, laying on my bed and scrolling on her phone. 

I sat up against my headboard, her laying her head next to my feet. 

She sighed. 

"What's wrong?" I asked. 

"I'm just a little sad is all." She sighed again, looking up. 

"Why?" I asked, repositioning myself so I'm laying next to her at the edge of the bed. 

"I don't wanna talk about it." She said, turning her head to me. 

I wish I could just do something to cheer her up like cuddle with her or kiss her. 

I wish I could tell her how I feel.

But I don't know if she likes me and I'm too scared of rejection. 

Wait a second, I thought.

I turned my head toward her, smiling. 

"Can I tell you something?" I asked her. 

"Anything." She replied. 

"W-Well, I've got this friend who likes you. But he's kinda scared to t-tell you. So he told me to tell you to see what you'd s-say." I stuttered. 

Her face lit up and she sat upright. 

"Really? Who is it?" She asked. 

"Well, I can't say silly." I smiled to her, sitting upright next to her.

"Well, what's he like?" She asked.

"Um, he's sorta tall, pretty awkward," I said. "You talk to him a lot, almost every day." 

"Really?" She asked, even more excited. 

"Yeah. He's kinda crazy about you actually." I smiled, playing with my fingers. 

She looked so happy. 

"He wants to be with you really badly." I smiled. "He's a real nice guy, he'd never hurt your feelings. He actually brags about you to his friends." 

"Am I friends with his friends?" She asked, "Wait a second, do I know him?"

I pursed my lips, giving her the yes sign. 

"Oh my God," She giggled. "This is so exciting, I didn't think anyone would ever like me." 

"Well why would you think that?" I asked. 

"You know I have low self esteem. I thought others saw me the way I see myself." She sighed. 

"Well, apparently not, seeing that this guy is almost in love with you." I laughed, nervously. 

"I feel like I'd like him too. He seems amazing." She smiled, laying back down. 

"You have to tell me who this is." She squealed. 

"I don't have to." I smiled, grabbing my phone. "But I'll text him to see what he says." 

I pretended to text "him" when I really was just continuing my game in Down the Mountain. 

After I died after I accidentally landed on a reverse square and pressed the wrong direction, landing in the front of a moving car, I smiled to her.

"He said he'd like to reveal himself." I said, her getting up and jumping on my bed squealing. 

I watched her for a few seconds before she jumped off my bed, landing right in front of me. 

"So, tell me." She smiled. 

"No, he wants to show you who he is. On a date." I smirked at her. 

She smiled, "Okay, okay, great, where?" 

I pretended to text again, now scrolling through Instagram. 

"He said that art gallery downtown at 8." I smiled at her. 

"Ugh, I love that place." She smiled. 

I think she even knows it's me. 

She looked at the time.

"Oh my God, one hour! I gotta go Luke, I'll see you later." 

You have no idea.

☽☾ 

My friend who owns the place hooked me up, making it look exactly how Kayla would like it.

Fairy lights everywhere, some of her favorite songs playing softly in the background and little picture frames along the wall which would lead to me around the corner from them. 

I heard a bell ring from the door hitting it. 

Kayla, I thought. 

"Hello?" I heard her voice say. 

I bit my lip as I heard her heels hitting the floor coming closer. 

"These pictures are beautiful." She whispered. 

As I heard her very close to me, I came into her vision with the bouquet of cattleyas in my hand, smirking as I handed them to her. 

She looked beautiful with her now done hair and blue dress.

She didn't take the flowers from my hand, instead have a shocked look. 

"Luke?" She asked confused. 

I smiled at her, looking at the flowers and began walking in circles around her. 

"I'm the friend who likes you. I'm the friend who is scared to tell you. I'm the friend who's sorta tall and pretty awkward. I'm the friend you talk to almost everyday. I'm the friend who's kinda crazy about you. I'm the friend who's a real nice guy and would never hurt you. I'm the friend who brags about you to my friends. I'm the friend who would like to reveal himself to you. I'm the friend that's almost in love you, Kayla."

"Oh my God," She said, not looking at me. "Luke, I'm so sorry about this." 

"Sorry about what?" I asked her, now confused. 

"I..." She had tears forming in her eyes. "I don't love you like that Luke." 

Her words hit me. Hard.

"Wait, what?" I asked. "You said I sounded perfect." 

"I know I did, Luke. I just thought you were talking about your actual friend." She sighed, putting her hand to her forehead. 

"Kayla, you know you guys are my only friend, who could you have possibly thought it was, there's only Calum, your brother and-" I cut myself off, realizing it.

I felt tears form in my eyes; I avoided looking at her. 

"You're in love with Michael." I said, barely audible but at tone that she could hear me. 

"I am so sorry Luke." She said, now crying. 

How could I have not realized it, I thought to myself. 

How could I have not seen it? She's always hanging out with Michael. She's always showing Michael affection and playing with him and talking to him and staring at him, and me... I played myself like a fool, not even realizing the possibility, just thinking it was all just friendly. 

At this point, I let a tear fall down my face. 

I looked to her, seeing her sob as tears continuously rolled down her face. 

"I'm sorry I wasted your night." I sighed, looking down. 

I began to slowly walk out the door, her turning as I did. 

I turned to her as I reached the door, lifting the flowers above the trash and watching her as I let go of them, walking out the door.

God, even after having my heart ripped out by her, I still just wanna hold her and tell her it's okay she broke my heart and she doesn't need to cry.