To the person whose string was connected to mine,
Hello, Solanno. How have you been these past fourteen months? I've been fine. You know, I tried to forget you even if I know in myself that I cannot, but I still tried and it was difficult. How can I forget someone who made me? I was made of so many things about you. I was made of you.
I know it's crazy but, I still draw your face everytime I want to see you, so yeah, my room was full of your face's sketch. I still try to perfect the blueprint of the house I could've built for us, and I ended up putting some space for our supposed to be office because you wanted it. But I am sorry if the space is not into your liking, I'm still hoping that it's fine because you've always loved the blueprint. You've always loved the design of our supposed to be home...
While I'm writing this thing, I'm here in the place where I brought you when I became sure about you—when I became sure about what we could've been in the future. The palm trees are still here, and the swing too. I decided not to demolish those because the peaceful setting shouts your name. The sun with the orange sky is kissing the lonely sea, just like that day. I can imagine your back while you were walking to reach this place, you almost tripped because you didn't notice the rock. Hahahaha. You also gave me your curious eyes when you sat in this swing, I almost drown with the way you looked at me that day. You asked why I brought you here and I can only give you a smile for an answer. On that day, I thought my favorite part was when you got teary eyed when I knelt infront of you and showed you the ring, but I was wrong. My favorite part was when your angelic lips said 'yes' to me when I asked you to become my eternal partner. It may be insane but that day, I thought I saw a glowing string, connected from our ring fingers. I cannot help but smile whenever I remember that.
That moment was hard to let go. Because, until now, I can still remember it vividly. I missed those. I missed you....
But, what happened? Solanno, what happened after that? I thought of the things that I could've possibly done to give you reason to leave—to cut the glowing strings we had—but I couldn't remember one. My time was yours. You were my first priority. I did not do anything wrong, because I cannot risk you—I cannot risk us. Was it when I asked you to go with me in the library because I wanted to finish my research there? Were you tired that day? Was it when I waited outside your house? Did your aunt see me? What is it Solanno? Please tell me, Please. You know that I will do anything to fix what I did, right? Because I love you that much. I love you... So please... What is it... Whatever it is, I'm sorry my love. I'm really sorry my Solanno.
I just want to know why after the day you said yes to me, why after you gave me the kiss of an angel, why after you gave me the eternal promise of love, you suddenly cut it without even saying a single word. Were all of the happy memories lies? But I believed you. You made me believe you. I tried getting you away from them to keep you safe with me, I disregarded my pride and ego. Yet while I was holding you with full of love that day, you still chose to get away—you chose to run. And what could I do? I cannot hold someone who does not want me... But I still love you... Even if you broke the promise—Even if you broke me... Even if all of those were fake... Even if you chose to make a turn after we decided the path we would've taken...Even if you cut the glowing symbol of eternal love... Even if you did not love me at all, I still love you, Solanno.
I missed your eyes; the way it glistens whenever we were in the shore near your mansion. I missed your soft hands, I missed squeezing it... I thought I would just miss you whenever I'm at work, but you left me... For ever...
You will always be my most beautiful memory. You will always own my heart, my love, my thinking, my everything. I will always be yours. Because I was made for loving you, and maybe, you were never made for me...
Loving you. Always,
Sibal
