fight from the inside series ; part 3 - tenement funster

chapter 6 - John POV

I sat down in the apartment, Joanne’s doctor across the coffee table from me, holding the cup of tea i offered him nestled in his hands; taking in the warmth that the cup was generating and sending through his veins. He was telling me about joannes recent health test she had taken; just when i was starting to think everything would be alright if i just left her, give her a new start, forget completely about me because each time The harder i tried playing with her life; trying to get back into it, make it normal again, the faster i fell back into reality.

“are you sure?”

thinking that know it all; this just couldn’t happen to her; she needs a new start, i cant even think of one way, not one to try and help her live through each day without her coming at me with a baseball bat or throwing inanemet objects at me the next morning, this is when its clear that i know nothing at all.

“positive...heres this... now if you don’t mind; i have to dash to see another paitient”

Doctor Fitzsimmons said before placing his cup on the table, shaking my hand and giving me and enclosed envelope before he left the empty apartment; everyone was at the hospital with brian. i didnt find it suitable to be there today, i don’t want to spoil everyones mood after brains success of his operation; he not only had a bout of hepatitis, but also that of a duodenal ulcer, which means he is going to be spending an aweful lot of time in the hospital, not to mention a lot of pain.

I held the envelope, it was kind of clihe really, it was in a way a letter arriving like a bolt from the blue, a letter that was going to impact the rest of my life if what i had just been told is correct according to whatever was contained within this envelope and all of my dreams lost because im such an idiot; everything would be fine if this had happened and she remembered me. But she didnt so it complicated alot, how am i suppose to be with her through this when she cant even remember my name; or even who i bloody well am, it just wont work.

“Say it ain't true 

Say it today 

When I open my eyes 

Will it all go away”

I cooed to myself closing my eyes, comforting myself, hoping that it was all just a dream; all just a very bad dream and that when i open my eyes i will be there, laying there, next to joanne and she remembers me. I opened my eyes to still find myself confronted by the envelope within my hands.

Opening it up i pull out a sheet of paper revealing a image, it cant be true, it cant be real, its all just a big dream, it just cant be happening to her, or me, i don’t know how to look after her in a state like this, she doesn’t even remember my name let alone me; last time i saw her she wanted to kill me, though she kind of had her reasoning behind it.

I tried to hold back the tears from the truth and reality, its just too hard to believe this is happening; yes it should be a happy thing but then again it has its negatives, anything could happen and she forgets all about it the next day and she has drastically changed and puts herself into shock. That’s the last thing i want to see her go through; because it will be my fault, it’s my fault she is in the state she is in which has already caused so much heartache and pain.

The door suddenly slammed back open, a cloud of blonde rushing through and sitting on the couch across from me; roger. His eyes red and puffy as if he had been crying; his face tear stained and all the colour escaped leaving him looking like a ghost. There is so much reason to grieve in todays society, its horrible the amount of sorrow one can feel in one wave; they just come crashing and tumbling down ontop of you, one after the other as if one wasn’t enough to knock you off your feet.

“whats the matter with you?”

He asked, grabbing a bottle of vodka before sculling it down his throat with no contemplation in what he was doing and just went along with it. I just handed him over the envelope; not being able to find the words to say to him about the matter. We have all this knowledge stored to help science create wonders; magical cocktails to save lives and what not; that some people just cant afford but we don’t have the knowledge to help someone regain their memory that i would do anything for, money, fame, fortune, hell id even give up my own life for Joanne; she doesn’t deserve to go through something like this, always being stuck in the past and never moving forward.

“is this...?”

He asked as he put the paper back into the envelope, all i could do was not my head, i can say its not true, i can tell myself a tonne of times that its not right; that it should never be like this, it was hard to believe yes, i still couldn’t believe it even with all the evidence we have the size of the problem is only going to get bigger as time goes by.

“so... what is your plan now?”

“i don’t...k-k-k-kn-kn-kno-know”