JackShrekticEye

The Shrektic Conundrum

Jack woke up and was like what the fuck

"What the fuck?", said Jack

Jack was wondering why A) He got struck by lightning indoors, and B) Why his skin was green, his teeth were yellow and massive, and his voice like that of a drunk Scottish man. 

"TOP OF THE MORNING TO YA DONKEY!", Jack accidentally let out while doing his intro.

Jack proceeded to record a full length video of Happy Wheels, but something was different about this episode. For one thing, his fingers were too large for the individual keys on his keyboard. Jack was too preoccupied to look in the mirror and realize that he was a fucking ogre (lol). Instead of this obvious precautionary measure, he decided to call up his friend Poopypie.

"Hey poopypie", said Jack. I've got a real problem!

"What's your problem Shre- Jack!", replied Pooperdooper

"I think something is wrong with me!" Jack sighed and cried and lied and died (80 years later in his life)

"Well did you look in the mirror, goofball??" His friend suggested

"Very funny, poopdypie" Said Jack.

Jack was used to his friend poopy playing funny tricks on him and making fun of him and stuff, so he thought that this was no exception. Little did he realize, that a quick look in the mirror was just what he needed.

"Well, time to look in the mirror and see what poops was making fun of me for this time!" Jack said with a cackle and a tear.

Jack walked into his bathroom, and turned toward the mirror. He kept his eyes closed for a moment to brace himself for what was to come. What was poopipie making fun of?? He wasn't prepared. For real though, he REALLY was not prepared. Then he saw it.

......

"WAT THE SHIT"

Jack stared blankly into the canvas that was before him. He knew that Youtube had taken its toll on his eyesight, but this was just plain ridiculous.

Jack took to twitter to assess the situation. He browsed through his feed, and realized that almost every tweet was from an ogre in the neighborhood.

"I thought I had OgreBlocker-5000 turned on? I shouldn't have to deal with this shit" Muttered Jack, with a sigh.

Just then, he heard a faint chanting that was coming closer every second.

"ONE OF US! ONE OF US! (Donkey!)"

Jack thought he was going insane, so he drank some antiseptic fluid and went to bed. Just then, his door burst down and he heard a loud booming voice.

"THE KINGDOM OF, FAR FAR AWAY JACK! THAT'S WHERE WE'RE GOING! FAR.... FARRRRR...... (away)"

Jack grabbed SepticEye Sam tightly and watched as the menacing Ogre Shrek slowly moved forward...