Sudden Realization

~1

Please, don't hurt yourself... There are people who care about you... I heard a soft, calming voice say.
"But how..?" I said, letting out a shaky sigh. "No one cares. No one will ever care... About me.." I whispered angrily.
But they do. They care about yo-  "Oh shut up already! How can you believe that? This world is so up its own ass that no one can see how truly messed up it is. All the shootings, murders... suicides. Just to name a few." I said, laughing at how pathetic, the world is. "Not to mention, that no one thinks, for even a second, that maybe the mentally ill patients just need the right type of comfort. The right type of love, and they may not feel as if they're an outcast, compared to the rest of the world. INSTEAD," I shake my head in disappointment. "They shove pills, down throats. They lock them up in mental institutions. They use electro-shock  therapy, just because being a lesbian in the 1900's was considered a 'sin'." But all that has changed now.. None of that still happens. "OH! None if that still happens. You believe that? Wow, I never took you as the gullible one. OF COURSE IT STILL HAPPENS! Some of the 'treatments' may be outdated, so it isn't used as commonly. But, kids are being bullied, just because of race, religion, what they wear to school even! Not to mention homophobic assholes who kick their kids out of their home, just because they're gay, or just because they dont want to have a sexual or romantic partner." I almost yell, laughing at how gullible she is. When, a tear falls down my face, I realize I'd been crying. "And let's not forget the ones who suffer silently. The ones who are, frankly afraid to come out to their parents so they won't be kicked out of their own home like their older sibling. The ones who are sad, constantly, but play it off with a smile. Or the ones who pierce their skin with a blade, because the pressure schools put on them. The pressure that goes unnoticed, because it hidden with a sleeve, or pants, or shorts. Making it embarrassing when a clueless friend asks 'Do you want to go swimming with me and Jenny this summer?' Because they can't know, what goes bump in the night. They can't know what they do when they get home from school, almost every day. Let's give sympathy for the ones who cry at almost everything, just because they may have anxiety, or something or someone made them believe that everything that goes wrong in their life, is their fault." I'm fully crying now. "...Why can't the world... Just be.. A nicer place...?" I say between shaky breaths.

That's when I realize, I'm truly alone. I'm sitting in my apartment. Its all dark.. The wind is blowing my curtains all around, and I'm sitting in the middle of the room.. All alone.