Feelings (Camren)

My Feelings For Her- Part 1

As the fans scream while I stand there on stage, I drown out the sounds and stare into the crowd. I love this feeling, how concentrated I get before I sing. Singing is my passion, It's my job, it's my everything. I open my mouth, and the words flow like a river out into the surroundings.

I wish it never ended because singing takes away all my worries, my pain and my feelings deep down. These feelings that i always bottle up inside me, that I choke down so hard.

I turn to look at her, her beautiful face illuminated by the lights. It highlights her features, and it's so mezmorizing I can't look away. She realizes that I am staring, and smiles slightly.

I want to tell her how stunning she looks and how her smile takes my breath away. But I know I can't, because I don't want to lose her and ruin everything we have. It hurts just to think about it, how much I love her, how much I've fallen for her over the last few years. Ever since the day I met her , 4 years ago.

She was the same age as me when she came to the audition, a couple months younger than me but looked so childish. She was the last audition that the producers had promised to squeeze in if they had time. I remember the girl who walked in so awkwardly and told the judges that all she did was sing karaoke and watch one direction videos. But when she opened her mouth, it was like a bus hit me and sent me flying. Her voice was extraordinary and so special.

We were best friends when we became band mates, but she started pulling away from me as time passed. I didn't know what happened. Maybe she got fed up with all the Camren stories, maybe she discovered that those feelings were true. I wish I knew, because if I did maybe we could go back to the way we were before. Even just as friends.

I watched her grow into this gorgeous and talented woman, and fell deeper and deeper in love with her. I've always wanted to tell her the truth, but I've never had the guts to do it. Not even liquid courage could make me spill my darkest secrets.

When she started dating Austin, all my dreams shattered. It hurt so much to see them together, to see them touch each other. I would cry my self to sleep every night in my bunk. Which is why I found my self making out with Brad backstage at the Halo awards, and continued on with a relationship for 8 months. All of that just to forget about her, the girl I knew I really wanted deep down.

I broke up with Brad because I couldn't keep pretending, it wasn't fair for him and it wasn't fair to my heart. And now with all the other dating rumors about her and Shawn, I don't know what to think. But maybe it is time for me to let go, time for me to move on and just give up. They say if you truly love someone, the only thing you want for them is happiness. I want her to have that, even if its not with me.

I am snapped back to reality when I hear a thud on stage. I look over, and there she is her small body lying on the floor motionless. I break in to tears. If it was any of the other girls in that situation, I would be calm and call for help. But because it is Camz, the love of my life, I start to panic. I fall to my knees, and I am paralyzed from fear. Security rushes in to pick her off from the ground, and the whaling of the sirens make my head spin. Before I know it, I feel my cheeks touching the cold floor, and everything goes dark.