If you need to talk to a lady, go ask your mom!

If you need to learn to talk to a lady, go ask your mum!

A/N: Hello everyone! This is AlphAOmegA 151, and this is my first (crackish) oneshot. It's based off the cover pic (WHICH I DO NOT OWN) which I saw sometime in the past (don't ask), more similar pics, and a few pieces of fanfiction (which I also saw sometime in the past) involving Bayonetta, Lucas and Bayonetta's taunt. So I decided: All the child characters in Smash don't exactly have the perfect family and should be easily aggravated/ affected/ saddened by the mention of 'mum". Why don't I make them all react to Bayonetta taunting (Um I'm that much of a jerk, sorry)?

And that's how this crapfic was born.

Oh, and before I forget, DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE COVER PICTURE NOR SUPER SMASH BROTHERS (OR ANY FRANCHISE INVOLVED IN SUPER SMASH BROS)! IF I OWNED EITHER OF THEM, I'D EITHER BE A DOUSHINJI ARTIST OR A RICH GAMEMAKER. AND I'M OBVIOUSLY NEITHER, BECAUSE I WON'T BE WRITING THIS IF I WERE.

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Warning: Involves occasional swearing (majorly me and Red) and minor spoilers.

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Note: This oneshot is a semi-AU where the Smashers from all four generations live together in a mansion (so damn cliche because lack of creativity). Also, 3rd Person POV.

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Smash Mansion, 09:00- Free Time

The Smashers had just finished breakfast. Everyone stood up from their seats, going to go to wherever they planned to go (A/N:that's a hell lotta "go"'s.) , just as Master Hand made an announcement.

"Smashers, there will be a new Smasher arriving today at around 10:30. Anyone who would like to meet her today can meet her at the entrance hall at the aforementioned time. All matches are cancelled for the day."

At the mention of a new member, the Smashers immediately snapped out of their sleepiness and into excitement.

"She? I wonder how sexy she's gonna be," Ike mused, and got slapped by his girlfriend half a millisecond later. (A/N: Yep. I'm leaving that ambiguous on purpose.)

"I wonder how strong she is."

"I wonder how fast she is."

"Maybe we'll be good friends."

"I wonder..."

The Smashers never would've guessed it was Bayonetta.

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Smash Mansion, 10:32- Bayonetta's arrival

"Come on, we're gonna be late at this rate! (A/N: Rhyme!)" Toon Link ushered.

Excited for the new arrival, the child Smashers were running along the hallways of Smash Mansion and toward the entrance hall.

What greeted them was a strange sight indeed.

In the center of the hall was a tall woman in a black skintight suit with pistols on her heels. ("How does she walk in those things?" Nana muttered) The majority of the men were on the floor, in different levels of unconsciousness. The ladies that had boyfriends present were hitting said boyfriends. The others were busy being envious over said woman's assets.