Lost

Ten

September 13, 2017. Two weeks since Brock fell into his second coma. Five weeks left for him to wake up. Two weeks and three days until Willow's due date.

________

Our family was home all together for the first time since Brock's second coma, or what was left of our family anyway. We had constantly being going back and forth from home to the hospital, never leaving Brock without mom or dad because we were afraid something might happen. We haven't given up hope on Brock. We never will. We know our Brockules will fight his hardest to stay alive because as he said, he's a fighter.

Grandma and Grandpa were at the hospital monitoring Brock. We wouldn't leave him there without any family, but mom and dad decided it would be best if they brought everyone home. I wanted to stay and be with my little brother for as long as possible, but I knew that mom and dad were right.

Gavin and I were lying on the couch together watching movies. We were snuggled together, the two oldest siblings at home, but we were constantly worrying about our little brother. Everyone in our family was worried about our little Brocko. The sadness in our house was still present, but was slowly washing away. It was nice to finally be together again. As a family.

Daxton was his usual, insane self, running around and disturbing the movie Gavin and I were trying to watch. We didn't mind though. We were happy that he was safe. Mom was resting— between the pregnancy and having so many restless nights, she deserved it. Dad was trying to play mom and help out by cooking dinner, but he was being himself again. He was lively, he was making his usual jokes and filming again.

But, there was an emptiness that filled our house. An emptiness that could only be filled by our Brocko. His Spider-Man imitations and his arguing with Daxton. All stuff that seems annoying in the moment, but is missed when it disappears. And of course, there was an emptiness that had been present for two months, two weeks and three days. There was a loss of my sister's sassy comments and her mothering of little Daxton. But that emptiness has been gone for a while. It had become normal.

I got up off of the couch and headed downstairs. I decided to do something I haven't done for almost three months. I decided to go into Avia's room. I opened the door to reveal the hot pink room that was so familiar, but so distant at the same time. I sat on her black and white comforter. It was just as she had left it. No one had dared to change it.

I looked around. Everything was neat and the room was clean. She was always good about keeping it tidy. Her wall was covered in Taylor Swift posters and Polaroids she had taken over the last two years. There were selfies of me and her and family photos. It was a wall of memories. And I remembered each one very clearly.

I got up and walked over to her desk. There was a note on it. I picked it up and it read:

Dear Emmi,
I know you'll find this one day when your looking around my room. When I'm gone. How do I know I'm going to die? Let me explain. I'm in so much pain, but I've been holding it in. I know that I should tell mom and dad, but I can't bring myself to do so. I know I won't survive for much longer, so I decided to write you this note. I promise I will tell mom and dad eventually, but it's probably too late already. I just... I can't exactly explain what's wrong. Everything hurts, constantly, but I always try to swallow the pain. It's not good for me, I know. It's been going on for about a week. If it gets worse, I promise I'll tell. I left this note for you to find. I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye. I didn't want to say anything about this note either, I knew you would find it eventually and I'm hoping that it's you that finds it, not mom, dad, Gavin or even Brock and Daxton! Please don't tell anyone, especially mom and dad, about my pain though. I don't want them to know that I was suffering for so long. I was trying to fight my hardest, but I don't know how much longer I can fight. By myself. But anyway, I just wanted you to know that I love you so much Emmi Loofy Lou. Never give up and never stop being that crazy girl I've always known. You're the best sister in the world. Be an amazing sister to the new baby girl and never forget your Flavia. If you're ever feeling lost, always remember that I will be watching over all of you. All the time. Stay strong Loofus. I miss you already. I love you more than words can describe.
Xoxo,
Avs

I smiled at the note from my sister. It was dated June 26, 2017, the day before she left us. She must have known she wouldn't hold up for much longer. I'm surprised she didn't tell anybody though, she's always tells mom or dad when she doesn't feel well. I look up from the note and gently fold it and place it in my pocket. I walk over to her dresser and smile. I remember when we would put on concerts for our family, using her dresser as the stage. I looked at her closet and remembered when we would film fashion shows all the time. I looked at her bed and lay in it. Remembering all of the good times and the bad times I had with my sister. I was engulfed in her sheets and it felt like home. It was as if she was sending me a hug from above.

"Hey Em," mom whisperered. She was standing in the doorway and must have been there for a while. I never noticed.
I looked up, "Hi mom," I said smiling.
She came over to the bed and sat next to me.
"Whatcha up to?" She asked, her voice soft and full of love.
"Nothing," I answered, "just remembering."
I sat up and scooted to the edge of the bed where she was sitting. I rested my head on her shoulder and smiled. She stroked my hair and we sat like that for a while. In silence.
"I love you mommy," I whisper.
"I love you too Em," she replied.

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Author's Note:
Awwww. Sweet Emmi and Colette moment! Anyway, I hope you guys are enjoying this book! I know, this chapter wasn't too action filled, but I promise there will be more stuff happening soon! Probably the next chapter. Love you guys! -L