Count On Me

One Bomb Down, A Few To Go

"Gay as in gay gay? Like you like dudes? Like dick in your ass or mouth is totally cool?"
"Dave do you seriously have to say it like that..? Yes, okay, exactly like that. I'd love to have a huge dick in my holes!"
"... You what?"
Dave and John's heads turn 180° in 0.03 seconds flat to stare up at the very confused, half naked, Dirk Strider in the door frame.
"I... I... Uh... Um... Ah"
John.exe has officially stopped working. Please restart your device or throw it in the trash immediately to avoid further humiliation.
"Do you know how to fucking knock?! And why don't you have any clothes on?"
"I just finished lathering my body in a warm, soapy substance."
"... You just got out of the shower?"
"Why else would I have a pinkie pie towel wrapped around my waist?"
"Because you really love pinkie pie?"
"... Touché, Egbert, touché."
"Dirk. Get out"
"Fine fine grumpy pants. Just confess your love or whatever and bang. Just make sure you use lube. Don't wanna rip those sweet sweet asses of yours."
And with that, he closes the door and whistles the tune of my little pony friendship is magic.
John looks to Dave, his face slightly flushed. But as soon as his eyes lock to his lips, his face burns like a bush fire.
Dave's face was far brighter than his t-shirt. Is that even humanly possible?
-well maybe not humanly possible... Maybe it's because he's an angel? ... FUCK I'M DOING IT AGAIN!!!-
"S-so..."
"How do you know you're gay? Ever kissed a guy? Touched a ding dong that wasn't your own? Watched gay porn and enjoyed it?"
Dave's face sat like a rock. No change in expression, but still bright crimson.
"What?! No! No! N-well maybe I MEAN-no!"
"Then how do you know you're gay?"
"I uh... I have feelings for a guy... I think I have for a while now... I just haven't noticed..."
"Well... Who's this guy?"
"Nuh uh. No way. Nope. Not telling Strider."
"Why not?!"
"Because you know him really well!"
"Please don't tell me it's my brother."
"Are you serious? No! Besides he's dating my cousin... Ew..."
"Okay well... Wait... Have you ever kissed anyone?"
Now it's John's turn to change hues drastically.
"N-no..."
Silence sits on them again, poking at their sides and cheeks like an annoying sibling.
"Would you... Maybe... Want to kiss me..? I mean... I don't want you to lose your first kiss to some jerk who doesn't care about you..."
"You'd really do that..?"
"You're my best friend, John. I'd do anything for you. You need me to help you I'm there, you need me to kick someone's ass I'm there, you need me to suck your dick I'm-"
"OKAY! That's enough of that!"
"I'm serious though, John. I don't want your first kiss to be stolen by some asshole who's gonna treat you like dirt..."
"... I'd love for you to be my first kiss Dave..."