But I'm Different (A Demi Lovato Fanfiction)

Chapter: Figuring Things Out

The week nearly ended and I was more than ready to sleep for, like, twenty years straight. School wasn't bad really, it was just... draining. The constant noise, the social stuff, trying to focus in class while my brain jumped around like it was hopped up on sugar. Not to mention the sensory stuff. People brushing past me in hallways, loud laughter echoing way too close to my ears, and the weird mix of everyone's perfume, cologne, and lunch choices sticking to the air like fog. I was managing better now, though. I think I was adjusting.

Demi had talked to the school about my mirror-touch synesthesia, which was a relief. They gave me a quieter spot in the lunchroom and let me wear noise-reducing earbuds when I needed them. I could even get out of class a few minutes early to avoid crowded hallways. It didn't fix everything, but it helped.

Right now, I was just sitting at the bus stop, my hands shoved in my hoodie pocket with my backpack slung over one shoulder. Demi had handed me my lunch money and kissed my forehead before I left, but all I could think about was today.

More specifically, tonight.

The "cinema not-date-but-kinda-date" with Mia.

And I had no idea what to think about it.

Like, I'd been on outings with friends before-mall trips, group hangs, stuff like that. But this felt... different. It felt like a date. Demi was taking us. She messaged Demi to get permission first. And the way she looked at me sometimes? It gave me that warm, fluttery chest feeling, like when you're on a roller coaster just before the drop. And I caught myself staring at her too. At her hair, her lips, the way her nose scrunched when she smiled. It was all... very confusing.

Did I have a crush on her?

Was this a crush?

I didn't know. I'd never liked anyone like this before. And sure, I always thought girls were beautiful-some more than others-but that's just normal, right?

I sighed and hopped on the bus once it pulled up, nodding to the driver before heading to the back where the girls were already mid-argument about pineapple on pizza.

I barely listened.

My brain was all Mia.

Fast forward to the evening.

Demi helped me get ready even though I insisted I didn't need any help. She insisted harder. Light makeup, hair in soft waves, a cute but casual outfit that still felt like me. She told me I looked beautiful and I rolled my eyes, but secretly? I felt kinda good.

When Mia knocked on the door, I felt my stomach twist into knots. She looked cute as hell-white sweater, black jeans, and that little white beanie that made her cheeks look even more rosy. I must've looked at her too long because she tilted her head and gave me a funny smile.

"You look adorable," I blurted.

And then wanted to die immediately.

But she smiled even wider. "Thank you. I can say the same for you."

We rode in the car in semi-awkward silence. Every time I looked at her, she was already looking at me. It was like a game of chicken, and I kept losing. And every time she smiled, I got that weird heart-flip feeling. What was that even about?

The movie was great-Suicide Squad. Loud, funny, action-packed. But the only thing I kept noticing was Mia's arm brushing mine when we reached for popcorn at the same time. Her quiet laughs. The way her eyes flicked to me when something ridiculous happened on screen, like we were in on some secret.

Afterward, we stood outside the cinema. Waiting for Demi to pick me up. Mia had her own travel back.

"I had a good time, Lovato," she said, soft and smiling.

"Me too." I hesitated. "We should... do this again."

She nodded. "Yeah, we should."

And then it was goodbye. She left, and I stood there like a statue, trying to figure out what the hell just happened. My face was hot. My hands were clammy. And my heart was going way too fast for someone who just watched a movie and ate popcorn.

Was this just excitement? Or... something else?

Later, I laid on the couch with Demi, curled into her side while the TV droned on about another murder case. She carded her fingers through my hair, and I must've looked weirdly thoughtful because she glanced down at me.

"What's going on in that head of yours, huh?"

I hesitated. Then sat up a little, chewing on my bottom lip. "Can I ask you something kinda weird?"

"Of course."

"How... how do you know if you like someone?" I paused. "Like, like like them."

She tilted her head, surprised. "Are we talking about Mia?"

I didn't answer, but my face must've said enough.

Demi gave me a gentle smile. "Well, usually it's things like-your heart racing around them, thinking about them all the time, getting nervous when they look at you."

I groaned and flopped back down. "Yeah. Okay. That's exactly what's happening and it's so stupid."

"It's not stupid," she said softly. "It just means you might like her."

"But she's a girl..." I trailed off, frowning. "Is that... normal?"

"Sabrina," Demi said, stroking my hair again, "it's completely normal. You might be bisexual, or you might be a lesbian. And that's totally okay. There's no rush to put a label on it. You just feel what you feel."

I blinked up at her. "I've never liked a boy before. Like ever. I always thought girls were prettier and more interesting. But I never thought about it, y'know?"

She nodded. "You're still figuring things out. That's part of growing up. And you've had so much on your plate already... You don't need to rush to define anything."

I felt my chest loosen a little. Demi always had this way of making things feel less scary.

"Thanks," I whispered.

"Anytime, baby girl."

She let me lay on her again and we sat in silence, the TV still on in the background, the weight of everything slightly less heavy now that I said it out loud.

Oh, and before I dozed off again, Demi mentioned something else.

"I've been reading up more on occupational therapy. I might have found someone for you to talk to."

I turned my head a bit. "You did that for me?"

She kissed the top of my head. "Of course I did."

And just like that, I felt safe again.

Confused about myself, sure. But safe. And maybe... maybe that was enough for now.