The Disappearist

Chapter Two: "A Movie"

Three months after graduating from graduate school with a Master's Degree in Counseling Psychology, Wil's life was completely changed by a movie he saw on television, simply by the happenstance of channel surfing in the living room of his apartment.

Wil's apartment was unremarkable, plain, and inexpensive (but not necessarily cheap). It was a cookie-cutter floor plan apartment complex and he was spending a little extra money for two rooms: the master bedroom being, in fact, his bedroom, and the smaller bedroom serving as his office, which he used extensively for studying and academic research. But Wil also wanted his living quarters to have a bit of class. His walls were adorned with decorative accessories, including a nice decorative mirror and expensive reproductions of Van Gogh's "Starry Night" and Claude Monet's "San Giorgio Maggiore by Twilight." His dining room featured a stand-alone bar rather than a dining room table and it was accessorized with wine glasses, a wine rack, an artful vase, and was surrounded by several nice bar stools. Wil wanted his domicile to reflect an upcoming classy young professional, and from his perspective, he succeeded.

As he sat in his living room, filling out post-graduate school applications for his PhD, he had his television on for no other purpose than background noise as he completed the seemingly endless stream of online forms required for graduate and post-graduate school applications and admission. His career goal was actually quite altruistic: He wanted to be a psychotherapist. He wanted to peer into the minds of the troubled and help them put the pieces of their cognitive and emotional puzzles back together. But there was also a catch: Wil didn't pursue this career because the wanted to help people; Wil pursued this career because he found the process interesting. He really couldn't have cared less about the people he was helping. To him, they were a puzzle to be solved rather than a human to be healed. Essentially, Wil wanted to be the Gregory House of Counseling Psychology and Psychotherapy, minus the Vicodin.

But Wil also wasn't approaching the situation in a traditional fashion. Wil, for all intents and purposes, was nearly a genius. His educational abilities were unrivaled as he graduated as the Valedictorian from R.L. Turner High School in Carrollton, Texas, followed by graduating Magna Cum Laude from Merriam University in St. Louis, double-majoring in Political Science and Psychology, and immediately earning his Master's Degree in Counseling Psychology. And now, before even applying for his license to practice therapy, Wil wanted to obtain a Ph.D. He wanted to be Dr. Wilson Giamatti before even entering the profession. And that, of course, required once again the process of applying to grad school, complete with endless online forms, questionnaires, transcript requests, and letters of recommendation. And the previous day, Wil had received the final letter of recommendation he needed to complete his admission packets, a letter written by one of his undergraduate Political Science professors, Dr. Mitchell Bradley. So now he sat, engulfing his Saturday afternoon with clicks and uploads and submissions to the admissions websites of his top choice schools, being kept company by nothing but his antiquated 32-inch tube television.

The edited-for-TV movie he'd just finished was unremarkable and he really hasn't paid much attention to it. But as the top of the hour approached and a fresh film premiered with the Hollywood Pictures logo with the Sphinx and the obligatory "This film has been edited for content..." disclaimer, Wil paused to see what movie was coming on next. And as the beginning of the film spawned into existence, Wil found himself captivated.

For the next 116 minutes, Wil did nothing with his grad school applications. He was fixated on this film, not because he was brainwashed or mesmerized, but because he was surprised at how fascinated he was with the movie. And 116 minutes later, he was thoroughly convinced that Grosse Pointe Blank was now his new favorite film.

The one thing that captivated Wil the most was how the film managed to portray a contract killer — a hit man — in a positive and almost sympathetic light. Suddenly, being a contract killer wasn't a villainous title, it was simply another occupation. And though Wil knew his naïveté was not such that he thought this was a 100% accurate portrayal of this profession, he couldn't help but think that maybe it wasn't all bad either.

As Wil stepped onto the third-floor balcony of his modest single-guy apartment, he began to contemplate the film and the main character, played by John Cusack, and how perhaps the bad guy isn't always the bad guy. He drew in a deep inhale, feeling the warm early-July breeze against his face and squinting his eyes, realizing he'd spent entirely too much of this beautiful early-summer Saturday indoors.

Then, as his subsequent exhale released a small dose of nonexistent stress, he had an epiphany that would completely change the course of his entire life.

A slight grin crept mischievously across Wil's face, and he strolled back into his apartment. Somehow, Wil felt completely different. Because in a mere instant, with a mere thought, a mere exhale, and a mere grin, a second and contemporaneous possibility for his future emerged.

There are moments in life when additional possibilities and potentials suddenly present themselves, like a new (but familiar) actor making an unexpected cameo in a classic television show. And these moments are all about perspective. Perspective is integral. The dynamically-wavering manner in which people view their lives is almost more important than the firm or static facts that actually pave their lives' paths. But when an epiphany steps out from behind the curtain and onto life's illuminated stage, the plot can suddenly change; perspectives can change, and sometimes anything is possible.

Wil sat back down on his couch behind the laptop that sat open on his coffee table. And with diligence renewed, he continued the completion of his post-graduate school applications. Wil knew that he his goal of being a cutting-edge psychotherapist was still intact and extremely realistic. And his new epiphany did not replace his current goal, but rather, paved a second lane to the road of his life.