The Warmth You Give {PHAN}

Agent Dan

I stuffed my hands in my pockets, and ducked my head deeper into the thick plaid scarf I had stuffed into my black parka. I ducked into my usual coffee shop, eager to find warmth in the store. I pushed the fur lined hood off my brown fringe as I walked up to the counter, a boy with a warm smile and cold eyes, the color of the ice hanging off the trees outside.

"Hello, Hot Cocoa please?" I mumbled through my scarf shyly, I could almost feel my brown hair sticking up dye to the static friction.
"Sorry what?" The boy asked, leaning in a bit to hear me, he smelt nice, like peaches, and coffee.
I almost smirked at his northern accent but instead I pulled my scarf loose.
"Hot Cocoa?" I repeated.
He seemed to understand and tapped it into the black register.
"What size?"
"M-medium please." I stuttered, the social encounter taking much too long for my liking.
"Alrighty then, that'll be £1.90"
I fished my wallet out of my coat pocket and handed him the money.
"You can find someplace comfy and I'll bring it right to ya." The boy smiled, his icey eyes twinkling as it hit the light.

I simply nodded and unzipped my jacket, going and sitting at my usual spot in the corner, in front of the window where I can avoid conversation and watch the people going about their business.
It wasn't long before the boy came to give me my drink, I was surprised, now that hes on the other end of the counter he looked just about my height, which is quite tall, as I stand at 191 cm.

"Thank you." I mumble sheepishly as I take the cup, it immediately warming my cold fingers.
"I'm Phil by the way, I'm usually in the back." He rambled with a friendly smile.
"Dan." I respond, giving him my own name.
"Cool. Sounds mysterious like a spy or something." The boy with the black fringe made wiggly hand gestures as he imagined me as an assassin.
I gave a light chuckle. "I'm nothing special."

My smile faded as I realized the truth of the statement, I felt my fingers gripping my cup a bit more, as my insecurities crept back into my mind.
"If you say so Agent Dan." Phil smiled, giving a small wave before leaving me to my own dark thoughts.

I looked out the window absently and sipped the cocoa. Flinching as it burnt my tongue, I quickly looked over to the counter, checking if Phil saw my mishap.

Surely he did and was giggling to himself about it. I felt my face burn up in embarrassment. The blushing grew even darker as I asked myself why I immediately looked to see if he had saw. Why was I only worried about him? Surely other people were judging me.

With that thought I sank into my chair a bit more, looking at everyone before looking out the window again. This time more careful not to burn my tongue, I drank my cocoa, watching as people walked by with there dogs or giggling children.

Eventually I finished my cocoa and tossed it in the trash, zipping back up my parka and tucking my plaid scarf back inside. I saw Phil give a small waved, and I gave a small smile back before flipping up my hood and ducking back into the cold stale air. I tried my best to keep the frostbite away until I reached my flat, my fingers so numb I could hardly unlock the door.

I shrugged out of my parka eagerly, the snow melting into the coat as I placed it on the hanger I conveniently sat atop a heating vent with my scarf. Once my simple black boots were also pulled off I plopped onto my brown couch, and pulled my computer onto my lap, checking my YouTube.

I had started it a few weeks ago, in attempt to get over my social anxiety. I didn't have many views, maybe 20 or so if I'm lucky. But I enjoyed it. It gave me something to do other than sit depressed, sifting through years of Tumblr posts and laying on the hallway floor, thinking about death and how soon it's going to come.
At least now I can say I did something before it happened.

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Thats all for the first chapter, did you like it? Hate it? Have any suggestions for the title of the book?
Let me know 💕
~August the Author 🍁