existentialism // phan

• one •

phil's point of view

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dan hasn't come out of his room in almost three days.

he was doing some sort of research and came across existentialism. now, online everyone thinks it's a big joke. his existential crises aren't real and he's just exaggerating.

but they are very real.

and most of the time he isolates himself because of it. i go into his room every night to put some food beside his bed and take out the old dishes, because he needs to eat. he rarely does anymore. he just kind of picks at it, but that's better than nothing. however, three days, it's getting bad.

"dan" i knocked.

i heard a muffled groan and slowly pushed the door open. "dan, love. its been three days. i miss you." i frowned, leaning against the wall.

"hmmph" he said into his pillow.

i frowned and moved to sit on the bed, beside him. "dan." i frowned rubbing his back. he turned and looked at me, his eyes were red. he's been crying. "this isn't just an existential crisis is it?" i laid down next to him.

he shook his head and moved closer to me, hiding his face in my chest. "do you want to talk about it" i asked

he looked up at me "not right now." he whispered.

"i can't sleep without you anymore" i said quietly, trying to make conversation with him.

he sighed and moved closer to me. "i love you." he said into my chest.

i smiled "i love you too dan" i rubbed his back. "come into the living room, we can order pizza?"

he took a deep breath and nodded, so we did. he just sat on the couch though. no phone, no laptop, he didn't even turn on the tv to watch netflix.

i called the pizza place and ordered one large cheese pizza, then went over and sat close to dan. he jumped, his eyes looked watery again.

"okay please talk to me" i rested my forehead against his.

"nobody knows about us, phil" he barely whispers

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author's note //  hello! so this is my first fic i've ever wrote and it probably sucks