The ghost within her

Whoa, what part 1

You awake in a pool of sweat. Every single piece of your bedding was soaked. You thought you might pass out, but somehow you managed to get your breathing and heart rate under control just in time. Still majorly confused, you slowly get out of bed and grab a clean set of bed sheets from your closet.

You can't wrap your head around the dream you've just woken up from your dad, welcoming you like he wasn't dead at all. Was it because some higher power knew that you needed to know that he still watched you, or was it the evil spirit getting in your head and showing you what you wanted most to hurt you.

Either way good or bad, you knew deep down that your mother had to know. She'd want to know. For her sake she needed to know that your father knew her pain, was watching over her, and still loved you both no matter what. You kept the smallest glimmer of hope alive that news like that would pull her out of the year long depressive, lost, broken, zombie like, unfeeling trance. Maybe, just maybe she would truly laugh and smile like she used to. You missed her laughter. It was so contagious, just the smallest hint of her laughter  would spread to everyone around her. A year ago when your father died, your mothers smile and laughter died right along with him. Now she was nothing but a barrel. of sadness.

You tried your hardest to help her out of her slump. Nothing you did to help her sunk in. Every time you talked to her she would shut down completely. She would put her head in her hands and sob endlessly, clearly broken. Her face seems older, her eyes are sadder, her will to live gone. Even though this has been a part of life for you for a year, it still kills you to see her like that. Her depression has seemingly taken over her soul. She's not living, she existing without coping. you hate to admit it, and you would never say it in front of her but she is living a life that if not for your existence she wouldn't be living at all.

You hate to have  to think that way, but you refuse to just  sweep her problems under the rug as if she doesn't have them. That's not how life works.. You don't even care to pretend that she's okay because she's not, not even a little.
You know in your heart of hearts that no person, no matter what they may have said or done in life deserves to have to feel as missable as your mother was and still is forced too. You know there's still good in her. You just have to find a way to bring it out.

Keeping her mind in tact is your main goal. It goes without saying that you can't bare to lose her too. Your mothers body is present, but her mind is somewhere else entirely. Here you are at 15 picking up the pieces. No one can even begin to understand what you are going through unless they have to some degree, lived it. You know that trying to explain what your life is like is no small task. Not to merino once again the whole you visit the spirit world and talk to ghosts thing.

It's been months of wresting with your inner demons as to just how you are going to come out to your community. One way or another they needed to know for their own safety and protection. Your worst fear is that no one would take you seriously. After all, they had no proof that what you were saying was true. Whatever they choose to think you new the threats to all of human kind was very real. If no one believed you you knew deep down that they would all parish. They had to believe you, you couldn't let them all die due to their own uncalled for stupidity. This was a matter of life and death of a nation, the world.

Somehow none of that mattered to you all of a sudden. All that mattered to you right then was pulling your mother out of her slump, or she would surely take her life due to her own deep set sadness. None of this was about just you anymore it became more about saving her life than your own. Even if you lost your own life you would gladly die knowing that you saved your mothers life and the lives of everyone throughout the nation.

The thoughts weigh heavy on you. you feel like you might throw up, pass out or both. You just let the chips fall where they may. You know it's useless to try to fight it off. The last time you tried to fight it off you passed out for several hours with no signs of ever waking up. You were sick of trying to fight attacks off by this point. Maybe, just maybe, if you let them happen when they needed to the sooner you'd wake up each time. It was a risk, but it was one that you were more than willing to take to come out safely. Without making your mother worry. She already had enough stress on her plate and you didn't want to cause anymore.

Again your father is standing there, you hug him even tighter than before. Again you tell him that your mother isn't doing well. He hugs and kisses you on your forehead just as he had done last night. This time he takes you to a rivers edge. "Honey this is your destiny it has been since the day you were born". "Don't worry about mom, I'll take care of her". You look up at hi, unsure. It goes without saying that he knows what you're thinking. "They will believe you, I'll see to that". You look in his eyes and you know without a doubt that he will. " I trust you, I have no reason not too". You say it and mean it and he knows it. "Good". He puts his are around you and kisses you gently on the cheek. "No worries, now wake up".