Ten Years Ahead

Darkness

I woke up in a stabbing pain in my right arm and when I opened my eyes, I was surrounded in darkness. A darkness darker than any other I have ever experienced. I tried to move, but my hands were bound behind me. I tried to wiggle free, but the pain in my arm was too much and I stopped. I tried to scream for Regina, for anyone who could help me, but there was a bandana tied around my head and stuffed in my mouth. I tried to think of a way to get out of here, but with my arm which was most likely broken and the fact I couldn't see anything, I realized there was no way I would be getting out of here alone. I leaned up against the wall I was placed against and rested my head on it. I took a deep breath trying to see any reason behind this, but I couldn't and suddenly a chill travels through the room, or wherever I am and I immediately begin to miss Regina's arms wrapped around me, keeping me warm... Keeping me safe... And the tears begin to fall.

Great, here I am again, alone, cold, in the dark...

My stomach growls angrily at me.

Hungry, in pain...

All these feelings were all too familiar for me, and while I sit alone in the darkness with nothing else to do but listen to my thoughts, all of those horrible memories from being in foster care come flooding back.

Flashback

I was sitting alone on the cold stone floor of the basement in one of my foster homes. I hadn't eaten anything in what feels like days. It's dark, cold, and the smell of my own excriment fills the room, intoxicating my lungs that ached for fresh air. I was sitting in the order of the room, my knees tucked up to my chest, my arms wrapped around my knees, not daring to close my eyes in fear that she might come down and hurt me. Every passing second felt like an eternity and although I had lost track of how long I had been trapped down there, I was certain it had to be at least three days. Three days with no food, no water, just myself and the flimsy flannel shirt and my skinny jeans to keep me warm through the harsh Minnesota winter, and being in the basement, on a cold stone floor in almost pitch darkness only made it worse. The only light was that from the small window, almost touching the ceiling and completely out of my reach. Each passing minute, it felt like the darkness was closing in on me. I was weak from the lack of nutrients. So weak I could barely stand let alone walk.

And now, just when I thought something like this would never happen to me again, when I thought I was safe, I wasn't. I guess what they say is true, you never are completely safe, no matter where you are or what your doing. But this was the last thing I expected to happen. The last place I ever wanted to be, was alone again in the darkness with just the clothes on my back to keep me warm during the rapidly changing temperatures and my body exhausted from the lack of sleep. Only this time, I knew that someone was looking for me, that Regina was looking for me and some how out of all this darkness, I felt I guess what you would call a glimmer of hope. I think that's what it is, what my mother is always talking about. Having hope and never giving up. That's what I was going to do. This time was going to be different from the others. This time, I wouldn't just be sitting on the floor feeling sorry for myself. This time I would come up with a plan on how to get out of this dark and dingy room I was in. Regina was the one giving me hope, the one keeping me going and I knew that no matter what happened to me, I wouldn't give up the fight to find my way back to Regina.

It seemed like hours passed when I was finally able to remove the gag from my mouth, and only moments later, I heard something. It sounded as if someone was unlocking a door. Yes! Someone is unlocking the door! I attempted to stand but stumbled and failed. The door opened and I was blinded by the bright light that shown through the door. "Please! Help me!" I cried, but nothing came out of my mouth. "Ah, there's my dear Emma!" A familiar voice said. It was Neal. "Neal?" I was able to croak out. "Please, help me!" I said barely more than a whisper, which was all my dry throat could handle. "I'm here to help you Emma." Neal said. I saw what I thought was a hint of a smirk on his face.