"It's not rape, it's impalement." (9/1/16)
"I shouldn't have eaten that bee." (9/1/16)
"I have skin paper." (9/1/16)
"There are no fucking penguins." (9/1/16)
"It's so punchable! I'll get it back up there." (9/1/16)
"Oh my goat." (9/1/16)
"We don't have money for a second dick now shut up and eat your goddamn sandwich." (9/1/16)
"The only straight I am is a straight up bitch" (9/1/16)
"I don't know... Something about guessing while upset then guys while upset then I was corrected, and I couldn't English good but I like kthulu and pizza and kthulu pizza and you said you believe in something, not sure what, and then Steve and now we're here" (9/5/16)
"Seductive Vegetables." (9/9/16)
"I've had so much plastic surgery, I can't feel my urethra!" (9/9/16)
"Step on yourself to end your own life." (9/13/16)
"I get it, we're all sex deprived here but you don't need to get it from a donut." (9/20/16)
"If you don't say something stupid at crew then it's stupid." (9/20/16)
"You look like a confused ninja." (9/21/16)
"I choose you! Tiny tits!" (9/22/16)
"But who has time for makeup when you got the sexiest pop tarts on the planet?" (9/28/16)
"You can't spell weird without a we." (9/30/16)
"SHE'S MY BITCH AND MY SPIRIT ANIMAL, OK?!" (10/3/16)
"Judaism is an airborne illness so you are all Jewish now." (10/4/16)
"This impact driver has been in between my legs so many times we might as well call it Monica Lewinsky." (10/4/16)
"The world must dye, everything must dye." (10/10/16)
"Hypothetically speaking, a small dog is about two pounds, so if I were to cut up and serve a small dog, how many people would it serve?" (10/11/16)
"Hacoocha matata." (10/14/16)
"You look like a possessed constipated guy who likes to masturbate." (10/19/16)
"Can I get a point for saying Froot Loops?" (10/19/16)
"Me-fucking-dusa" (10/19/16)
"Edison is a thieving bitch." (10/19/16)
"Hey, you have a nice face, wanna put your face on my face?" (10/22/16)
"Wanna put your mouth on my mouth and just kinda move it around?" (10/22/16)
"Donut lives matter." (10/22/16)
"Knives and fire: the reason for everything." (10/25/16)
"You have lesbian penises?" (10/26/16)
"Guns, knives, poles and hoes." (10/28/16)
"All you need is dick and ass." (10/31/16)
"Someone dare me to get an erection." (10/31/16)
"Do you really want teeth marks on your testicles?" (11/4/16)
"Nutella is not the body nor blood of Jesus Christ." (11/12/16)
"Freewee because it's like a free wiener." (11/24/16)
YOU ARE READING
The Epic Book of High School Quotes
HumorThe best of what me and my friends say, get ready for some hilarity. This all started when my theater teacher said "It's just Hitler!" (Which, when taken out of context, sounds ridiculous. I'll leave the intended context up to your imagination becau...
