First Love

Chapter 20

I felt so... exposed in the position I was sitting in. The doctor tried to explain the procedure to me, but I tuned her out. I didn't want to hear it; how she was going to kill my baby. She didn't stop talking though and at some point, I found her voice a soothing background noise. Not that it prevented me from sobbing the whole time. The physical pain was mild, the emotional one was atrocious.

After what felt like an eternity, but in reality it was fifteen minutes or so, the nurse took me to a different room. I had to use a pad and they gave me some pain killers. I waited for about thirty more minutes before they allowed me to leave. My tears were still unstoppable. I was afraid that they would go dry forever.

Jiro ran to me as soon as he caught a glimpse of me. His face was weary and pale. I wiped my tears and threw my arms around him. He hugged me back and squeezed me against his warm body. I noticed for the first time that I was cold.

"How are you feeling?" Jiro asked me, his voice confirmed how worried he was.

"It doesn't hurt," I answered.

With his arm around me, Jiro and I walked out of the clinic. I inhaled the fragrance-free air for the first time in hours. It was a beautiful day. The afternoon sun welcomed me and enveloped me gently in its warmth. We walked for a few minutes until we reached a restaurant. Jiro stopped.

"Come on, let's have lunch before we go home." He led the way and I didn't object. I was starved.

We sat at a small table by the window. The place was relatively empty since we were having a late lunch. As I sat there reading the menu, I felt a wave of relief wash over my body. In my mind, I knew that was the right decision; Kei didn't want the baby and I couldn't take care of it alone. But my heart, my heart was another story. It was heavy and grieving. My heart would never let me forgive Kei nor myself, that was a fact.

"What are you having?" Jiro's voice was back to being calm. I scanned the menu.

"A burger."

The food was really good, adding that to the slow music in the restaurant, they were the perfect therapy. Jiro ate his pasta in silence which I was grateful for. He just knew when to give me space. I didn't want to talk, I just wanted to listen to my thoughts, and they were slowly calming down.

We took a taxi home and got there around seven. I went straight to bed.

The next morning, I woke up to knocking on my door. I looked to my phone, it was eleven twenty. It was Saturday so I didn't care.

"Hey Sam, it's me." Jiro's voice came from the other side.

"Come in."

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm much better." And I was feeling much better. "Thank you for everything, Jiro."

"Don't mention it. I have a dance this afternoon, so mom is driving me. Breakfast is on the table, you should eat." He was so sweet, I just wanted to hug him to show my gratitude.

"Thank you, Jiro. I will."

"Alright, see you later."

Jiro left and I heard them drive away a few minutes later. I stayed in bed staring blankly into space. Then, when my stomach growled, I got up and washed my face. I walked straight to the dining room. The table had a few covered plates; Waffles, eggs, fruits, and cheese. It looked delicious.

I poured myself a glass of orange juice and started wolfing down the food. I had a huge appetite for some reason. I ate until I was ready to throw up. I waited a little bit for the food to go down before bringing the dishes to the kitchen. I was busy putting everything away.