it's 12:43 am and it's already a fucking sunday and my weekend is over just before it began and i'm jamming to ruby by this band called twenty one pilots and my brother is telling me something about minecraft but the music is reverberating through me and i can't hear him and i'm passionately head banging and actually smiling my heart out these smiles of mine are reserved for after midnight and god i feel surges of niceness running through me and double shots of dopamine have been released my brain is rewarding myself that's selfish and i'm screaming along with tyler la da di dum dum my mom's watching some stupid crime serial and i'm eating chilled musk melon and i saw photos of harry styles after ages and oh dear god do i love him that relationship is so fucking cheesy the song has changed its called car radio most of you must've listened to it and god this is totally inexplicable as i furiously type and see the streetlights flicker but i don't care i don't think about you right now or about your skin i think you're actually bland i have this metallic taste in my mouth and it tastes like the knife i used to kill you in my dreams i look at my small library and now i feel like using my watercolours to paint flowers and god dammit the song has changed again to antichrist by the 1975 and i love it with my entire being however i believe there is a god he gives me hope i blame god for every minor inconvenience i write about decaying gods and something just stops me from being an aesthete maybe it's my mom's faith in him i am pathetic that way does agnostic sound like a better option ha! i'm not having this overused discussion all over again i am content do you feel like kissing me because you and i both already know the answer babe i feel like a fucking masterpiece right now
(it's not a sunday now but enjoy) (i can't believe transient will be over by next month i'm sobbing)
