If the Sun Has Faded Away (UNDER REWRITING)

Chapter 9: Between Mother and Daughter

I sighed in frustration, as I failed for the third time in a row to unpin the safety pin that I had used to hold the fabric of my saree together with the blouse that I was wearing.

« Damn ! », I couldn't help but let out a shout, unable to contain my impatience anymore.

« Leave this to me, Divya »

I was startled in surprise when I heard my mother's voice coming from nearby.

She was staring at me as she was leaning against the door of my room – which I had let open.

Though no trace of discontent was visible on her face, I knew that she had been surprised – in an unpleasant way- to hear me swear.

As far as I could remember, I had never let out any swear in the presence of my parents. Not even an unintentional one.

« Thanks, Amma », I smiled at my mother, even though it was an unsure smile –

Amma is the Tamil word for Mother.

It only took her one split second to free my saree from my right shoulder, upon which it had been safely pinned.

The saree fell to my feet in what seemed to be a never-ending ocean of red fabric.

I turned to face my mother again, as she was now standing right behind me.

I gave her yet another grateful smile.

But my smile froze the minute I heard her next sentence :

« Next time you meet John, make sure to ask him for your necklace back, all right ? And... Give him his jacket back too »

As always, whenever she talked with me, my mother spoke in our mother tongue.

Although she had spoken in a soft voice, I immediately sensed the disappointment that was hidden in her words.

The reason behind her words suddenly struck me: while she had unpinned my saree, she had noticed that I wasn't wearing my chain anymore.

Even though neither she nor my father had spoken a word about it on our way back home, I also knew that they had easily guessed that I had spent some time with John while they were chatting with Uncle Joseph and Auntie Radha inside their house.

John's jacket – that I was still wearing when they had come to fetch me back at the front of the house, having foolishly forgotten to give back to John – had provided them with an obvious clue on that.

« Amma... I... », I stuttered. I was unable to sustain her gaze, that she was keeping locked onto mine.

« Divya, you don't owe me any explanation. You know that your father and I have complete faith in you, don't you ? »

I nodded at my mother, unable to say anything.

Because I knew that she was about to add something else and that she would unintentionally hurt my feelings with what she would say next.

My mother was now standing right in front of me, facing me.

« We just want you to be fine and safe, baby »

« And you don't think that I am safe when I am with John... », I said in what came as an assertion, not as a question. An unvolunteer frown had made its way to my face when I said these words, unknown to my consciousness.

My mother let out a sigh before she spoke again.

« John is a nice boy, I agree with that. But... he's not... He's not like us. I'm sorry to say that... He didn't complete his education and he doesn't have a proper profession ».