fear // phan

0.3

dan's pov
maybe one day someone might stop and help me. i know i need to actually help myself, but that is actually so hard without anyone here to help me or hold my hand when times get tough. maybe phil could help me one day if we became friends. i know he's a socialite and is friends with everyone except myself, he hasn't tried either, which is good and bad on my behalf as im scared of mostly all human interaction with anybody.
im still sat on the muddy ground lent up against a tree. it makes me happy, it soothes and helps me think and escape my family issues and problems. the trees help me in a way i'm unable to describe. it's strange.

school is over anyways as i have been here for about an hour or two and the time on my 'phone' states that it's 3:54PM. i was here for longer than i anticipated, which isn't always a bad thing.
it helps me get away from the people who judge me and are hurtful towards me.
i pick myself up from the ground and start walking to the unknown hopefully, but i know im heading back to what people would call their family home. it's far from like that to me. currently, my parents aren't even bothering to associate themselves with me as ill just start getting scared and get myself out of that situation as soon and as fast as possible. im kind of like a hawk when i start getting scared, moving so fast.
i daydream a lot if nobody can tell, are these even my thoughts or my movements? who knows.

i continue walking until i reach the house, where i lightly grab the keys from my pocket and push them in the lock, twisting it until to unlock the door and then proceed to walk into the house. im all alone currently as my parents are at work and my brother is outside somewhere, i presume.

i make my way to the kitchen to go and find some good ass food, hopefully some noodles or something quick and simple along those lines. thankfully, we have some, so i continue to make them and walk upstairs to my bedroom and plop myself on to the bed, picking my laptop up.

i go onto netflix and pick out a random tv show, which was gossip girl, and i watch it whilst eating my noodles.
halfway through the first episode, my phone screen lights up, showing i have a notification on facebook.
i grab my phone and read the notification.
"facebook: phil lester has sent you a friends request"
oh.

*
philly has noticed
or has he always noticed idk im getting tired now idek LOL
this is very un-edited and sloppy but tbh does it really matter at this point im so confused is this his thoughts like a diary or is it a school phanfiction bc tbh i have no idea oml