LIMERENCE. / KTH

fifth thought

a knock rings

in my apartment door.

i groan,

as it is early in the morning.

i groggily get up

after the doorbell rings twenty-five times,

and i don't bother looking through the peephole.

it takes me a moment too late

that i realize i look like a monster,

and i open the door.

"hi, there!"

it's you.

i try to slam the door shut quickly,

but you make way inside before i can.

you ruffle my hair,

like i'm your pet dog.

i hope the expression on my face

tells that i don't want you here.

"what do you want?"

i say this purposely in a

frustrated tone,

so you can leave.

you pout your lips.

i close my eyes, aggravated.

you flick on one light

and the brightness hits my eyes,

causing me to close them once again.

"no one invited you here," i mutter.

you look at me in an odd way.

then, you start to view around my apartment,

perplexed at all the different

pieces of furniture i have casually laying around,

ignoring my initial complaint.

i follow you into my room

without saying anything.

"go get cleaned up," you order.

i fold my arms,

blowing a strand of hair

off my face.

"we're going somewhere today."

you start to go through my bookshelf

and i plop on my bed,

giving up on my effortless motive

to get rid of you.

"get out," i command,

and you don't even move a muscle

to get away.

i try pulling you out,

but you are far stronger than me,

and your feet are glued to the floor.

i don't want to see you,

so i move out so i can brush my teeth.

i change into freshly new clothes,

and return to the room,

hoping that you are long gone.

but you are not.

i tie my hair up.

"what's this?"

you hold up a polaroid of us

back in high school,

holding up peace signs and

posing wink faces.

it is marked "160315",

the date of the party.

we took the picture before all of us departed

for hyukjae's house.

i don't want to relive the moment.

i quickly try to grab it,

but you put it over your head

and i can no longer reach it.

"i want to keep it," you tell me,

and stuff it in your back pocket.

now, you take hold of my hand,

and drag me out of my room,

attempting to get me out of my house.

my heart's pounding inside,

because i suddenly feel guilty

of not having told you about jungkook and i yet.

"one sec," you pant

and rush out of the door,

leaving it open.

i could've closed it right away,

but i didn't.

i don't know why,

but i had a feeling what you were

going to show me was

going to be big.

you return back with a mason jar,

and inside are little white pieces of paper

crumpled up together.

you hand it to me,

and i take it immediately,

attracted to the familiar object.

i open the lid without your help,

and take out the pieces.

they are long pieces of lined notebook paper,

and they look old

because they are stained and

some are ripped up.

i don't believe what i'm reading.

i drop the paper,

and it glides down gently on the floor.

"i'm flattered, areum," you say.

it only makes me even more furious.

but you don't notice my anger

because you're smiling to yourself.