Harold and Kumar (New Girl Fanfic)

The Indian, the Jew, the Chicago Bull and the Detroit Piston.

Man, oh man, oh man. First chapter of Harold and Kumar, enjoy!

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Ever since the drawing of a best friend a child could make, Jess, came into Schmidt's life he's been the happiest man ever. Not because of Jess, god no, but her beautiful Indian best friend Cecilia. He remembers the first day he met her like it was yesterday...

Schmidt was sitting in the L-shaped, brown leather couch along with his best friend Nick and Coach watching sports, of course, when a ring at the doorbell captured their attention.

"Don't get that! Don't answer the door I'm coming! Just give me a second don't answer! Schmidt I said no!" Jess yelled from her bedroom. The three loft mates just shrugged it off and continued their sport watching. They were watching football of course, the Chicago Bulls were going against the Detroit Pistons and the score was tied.

Jessica had spent all afternoon picking out an outfit for her date with one of Schmidt's friends friend. This was her first date since her break up with Spencer, which happened last week. Jess was so heartbroken she had to find a place for her own.

After a few hours searching for a suitable place on Craigslist she found a 4 bedroom loft with 3 occupants who were looking for a roommate. She showed up and after their interview the 3 men rushed towards the bathroom to have a group discussion. Both the men wanted her out, but Schmidt was the one who said "Let's give her a chance," it was probably the whole 'friends with a model' talk that sealed the deal.

Schmidt the kind, gentle, soul, took Jess out to the common bar Nick works at to try to make her feel better, because watching Jess watch Dirty Dancing while singing along was depressing to watch. So they decided to take her out to make her feel better. While at the bar Jess encountered a male friend and he asked her out on a date.

Jess came out of her bedroom in cloud covered pjs and let the beautiful caramel colored girl in. She was wearing a tight black dress revealing some of her girls, she had a black box in her hands that Jess gladly took. "Thank you Cece! Take a seat, I'll be out in a minute."

So Cece obeyed her best friend, taking a seat in front of three men who were all looking at her with their jaws on the floor. No one said anything, the silence could be sliced with a knife. "So," she started, "you three are... Jess' new roommates, and I'm her best friend, Cece."

Schmidt was the second to talk of course, "Is it me, or is it hot in here?" he began pulling his shirt off with both "Schmidt stop!" and "he's not usually like this" coming from the two men beside him. Schmidt however, ignored their remarks, Cece on the other hand was total Bitchface mode, "Please put your shirt back on. Please don't make me laugh at you." Schmidt smirked at her, "This is LLS - Ladies Love Schmidt."

"Jar!" Came from both Coach and Nick, Schmidt shrugged and dug into his pockets fishing out a 5 dollar bill to put in his infamous 'Douchbag Jar'.

"Ok look," Cece said leaning forward exposing more of her chest, "if you lay one finger on her I'll make sure to come in here and rip off your testacles and make bracelets out of them!" Nick and Coach both seemed very frightened. Schmidt just leaned forward and said, "I didn't hear a single word that came out of your mouth cuz your party hats are showing." That was it. Cece got up and walked away.

The Indian goddess was now in Jess' room staring down at the mess of clothes scattered all over her room. Jess was sprawled on her carpeted floor dressed in overalls and the high heels Cece gave her.

"I can't do it." She murmured from the floor. She laid her arms out for Cece to grab, and she did, Cece pulled her up.

"Come on babe, you got this. What's the problem?" Cece asked with genuine concern in her voice.

"What if I'm not good enough? I forgot what a date is and I have nothing to wear!" Jess said gesturing around her clothes covered floor. Cece glanced down at her dress, "yeah you do."

A few minutes later passed and the three men of the loft were doing there thing when they heard high heels clicking on the floor. They all looked up and saw Jess in Ceces black dress. "Wow," Coach said, "you look great"

"Thanks Coach." She started dancing out of nowhere. "And then she does that," Schmidt said gesturing at her weird dance moves. The only thought Schmidt was having at that moment wasn't about how beautiful Jess was, it was about how beautiful Cece could be in overalls.

"I have to go now, he's downstairs. See ya later, Ima 'bout to go get some!" She shouted and walked out leaving the Indian, the Jew, the Streets of Chicago man, and the Pistons fan all in one room. Nick and Coach both faked coughed and went to their separate locations. Schmidt stayed and walked toward Cece.

"Guess it's finally just the two of us, huh?" He said nudging her with his arm.

"Oh god you're gonna say something stupid, aren't you?" She asked.

"Girl, imma... "

"Schmidt!" Nick yelled, "Snap out of it man! The movie is over, and you haven't blinked at all Schmidt. I'm a bit worried."

"Nah man, don't worry about me I was just daydreaming."

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That's the first chapter. Hope you enjoyed. I'll update once or twice a week depending on school.