beyond redemption. 東京喰種

problem child

my bones of young age, pale and slim, had one of her words printed around it like a loving memory of a dead mother.

her callouses traced the lining of my bruised veins i got from play time,

this is why i never should've played with dolls,

i wish i listened to her.

don't want to make her angry.

don't want to make her upset.

MamAA I'M SORRY

I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY

rei would never do something like this.

rei is her favorite.

it's always about rei, rei, rei, rei.

rei-chan, listen.

that man doesn't care about anyone but himself.

and the world doesn't need people like him.

so you know what to do right?

bite, teeth, raw

she grazed her newly sharpened nails against my white skin,

but i can no longer scream.

for she never left any part of me untouched,

unscathed,

without a trace of innocence.

mama,

i don't want to.

he looks scared.

he doesn't want to die.

she drowned me with her words of thick thorns and venom, 

and i can no longer save myself from her.

for all i could remember was her voice as she sang me to sleep,

endlessly repeating,

never missing a beat.

i wanted it to stop.

STUPID FUCKING BRAT.

Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless!

have you not been listening at all?

do you even know what you're saying?

i am mama's to keep.

i belong to her.

and i want my good boy points.

30, 40, 50, 60 points!

not enough not enough not enough

it's always not enough is it?

the flashier, the better! 

have to impress the customers,

have to make mama proud,

have to be a good fucking boy,

have to kill, kill kill.

MAMA I'M SORRY I COULDN'T REMEMBER

I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY

STOP

STOP

DON'T YOU LOVE ME?

my mind could only comprehend,

could only understand,

that her wrath was somehow embellished into a vague form of care.

i was a fool.

up until now.