How Should I Kill Myself

How Should I Kill Myself

By L. Lockheart

If I kill myself, If I die right now
Will it change a thing?
If I die right now, will I be able to see him?
Will I be able to feel him?
Will I be able to hold him?
I'll die just to be where he is
I'll die

Oh this is boring

If I am going to tell you a sad story

I might as well say it cheerfully

Look at me

Am I happy?

If you tell me I'm not, I will call you crazy

If I tell you I am, you can call me one

Here it is

I wanted so many things in my life

I am on my way, I am doing good
Cliche!

Then everything was ruined

He came into my life

I became his wife

Did I regret it?

I did

Marrying him at a young age of 20

He left me when I am 20

At 20 I am telling you this story

Speculations

Did he cheat on her?

No, he is too kind to do that

So did she cheat on him?

No, I love him too much to even think of that

So what happened?

They fell, we fell together, literally

September twenty second Sunday

The day of our marriage

The first step and the only step for my perfect life

The night, on a plane towards Bali for our honeymoon,

It was perfect. I am so happy

Next thing I know, everything went haywire

The only thing I could remember was his hands on mine

His lips on mine and the words I love you

Then everything went blank

I woke up and then there's this silence

A deafening one and I closed my eyes

The door creaked open and the moment I opened eyes

I Saw them then I knew. My perfect life just crumbled down

I wanted to scream, run, act crazy, go crazy
But I can't move, I feel so weak

I closed my eyes again

Wished everything is just a dream

"Please wake me up from this nightmare, this is killing me"

But the familiar silence just gave it away

That jerk. He promised and I believed him and for that I am stupid

He said "I promise, I won't die before you even for just a single day"

Promises are meant to be broken though

Sad, isn't it?

Now it's my turn to end my life

I need your help, I am begging for your help to decide to  how I should do it

Should I cut my wrist?

No, I think it will be painful

Should I drown myself?

No, I'll struggle a lot

Oh, should I just shoot myself with a gun?

Still no, I don't have a gun and it's expensive

Aha, I shall stand in the middle of the road then

Brilliant right? But no, the possibility of coma is there

How about jumping right off a building?

I could do it here? Still no, it's too ugly and messy

How should I kill myself then?

Silently and Elegantly

Tell me, how should I kill myself?

Tell me