"But, but, but.... I did nothing wrong..." I said to the council, stomping my foot.
" Yes you did... your mean, selfish and you trick people out of their gold," the fat one spoke.
Before you ask, yes she said gold. Gold you see we have no powers. The only thing special about us is that all we bring is good luck, can you guess what I am? Hopefully, you guessed it right I'm a leprechaun. Wait! Don't turn the page yet, you haven't heard the funky part, yeah I said funky... get over it, now as I was saying, we leprechauns bring good luck, yet... all I bring is bad luck. Oh but back to the story of how I got kicked from over the fucking rainbow.
" But isn't that what leprechauns are all about," I asked popping out one hip,
" And that sass," the fat green one added,
" WHAT SASS?" I yelled all I did was speak the truth and he says I'm giving him sass?
" That's it young lady, you will get your punishment tomorrow after noon, now BEGONE" the old woman gruffly stated. I nodded, gave a meek smile and headed for the doors.
I guess I should tell you about myself, my name is Lucky Clover Charms, quite the name, huh? That's what happens when you're a Leprechaun, I have my parents who are caring and loving, I have three awesome older brothers and a kitten named bark. What? I wanted a dog.
Now I know your probably wondering what that was all about, well I played some tricks, got in some accidents, teased some people but hey that's just my nature, don't need to change for anybody. But the council are just strict I mean since when was painting a lady rainbow all over her face with permanent paint while she was asleep a crime? She shouldn't have been asleep for that stupid 'Nap for Cancer!' program. But I mean isn't that what we are all about, gold at the end of the rainbow and all that shit? Just showing some patriotism.
I walked back to my apartment and put on some tea after I carelessly kicked off my shoes, flicking on the bathroom light I stripped down and stepped in the shower smiling a satisfying sigh. I poured some of my vanilla cream shampoo in my hand and began to moisturize it in my hair. After rinsing I stepped out and turned off the water grabbed a towel and stalked off to my room, sliding on some sweats I fed bark and walked to my room. I jumped on my bed and flicked on the TV.
" Boring, boring, stupid, dumb, hey look I'm on TV," I said to no one in particular, turning up the television a little,
" Listen here you little brat if your watching this, just know I'm coming after you, I'm going to rip you into shreds wait till my husband finds out oh boy is he going to kill you-" I switched the channel, you would think I would be scared but I am currently laughing my ass off , I should be terrified, but coming from a lady whose face is painted the colors of the rainbow, you couldn't just not laugh. I yawned and dozed off.
Waking up to a bright light streaming through my windows, I glanced at the clock and rocketed up, it read 11:30 I jumped up threw on my signature short green dress, green high leggings, that reaches mid thigh and my white boots, throwing on my leprechaun hat, we were all giving something to wear on our hat when we were babies that represents us, so the council gave me a little white strap with a skull attached to it, my name may be lucky but all I bring is trouble to people that become close to me. Not to mention I'm a handful.
I stepped out into rainbowtopia and skipped to the council building since it was just down the street from my apartment. People looked at me like I was crazy, as I dodged passed them. I walked up the stairs to the building and took a big gulp before opening the door.
Walking into the middle of the room I put on my poker face and placed a hand on my hip,
" So what's the verdict partner?" I asked the old green dude who sat in the middle; he rolled his eyes and shook his head while the man next to him let out a chuckle.
" You are assigned to become a vampires lucky charm," he said smugly. I felt my jaw drop open,
" What- who," I managed to splutter out like an idiot.
" You know what and to Lucas Vanderbilt," the old man smirked like it was funny.
" But, all I bring is trouble and you know that," I said to the fat old dude.
" That is exactly why, why not take out the most feared creature by bringing him bad luck eh?" he asked,
" You're asking for your head to be on top of his fireplace" I bit back,
" Not only that but I'm pretty sure he will kill you with you big mouth, since we are not allowed to kill our own kind," replied the old green man,
" What is wrong with you, you SHREK?" I yelled, I saw his face turn red before he calmed himself down; another sick smile came on his face.
" All that beauty became such a waste" he said shaking his head in disappointment, I know I am beautiful I was once mistaken for the goddess of beauty, I looked at the old man as he clicked his fingers and I was gone. I opened my eyes and found myself in some sort of office, I saw at least 15 men at the table stand up and the guards take a step forward,
" Calm down jeez take a chill pill," I said to them rolling my eyes,
" Where do you come from?" one of them spoke up,
" Well my dad put his little thingy in my mommy's whole two weeks later she found out she was Prego with this chick right here, 9 months later I popped out the multi purpose opening between the females legs called the"
" Oh god stop" the man suddenly said bring his hands to his ears while the others around him laughed. I cracked a smile before I heard a door slam from behind me,
" What are you doing in here?" a cold voice asked me, anyone could recognize that voice, for it was Lucas Vanderbilt. Not changing my posture I turned around,
" I was sent by the leprechauns," I said,
" That explains your height," he murmured,
" I'm actually quiet tall for a leprechaun," I said finding my 5'6 height quiet proud of.
" Well, get out" he stated in a serious tone, I put on my best innocent face,
" But I cant leave" I said
" And why not" he asked his tone getting angrier,
" I'm your lucky charm" I smiled at him as I heard everyone in the room gasp.
YOU ARE READING
