Everything I Will Never Be

Seeing Clearly

Cara walks through the hall, with her head down.

She dreads the moment she will see him.

She knows that an excuse shouldn't absolve him of everything, yet she is ready to listen.

At the end of class, he taps her on the shoulder.

She doesn't respond and walks out of the class.

He follows her, until they are standing in an empty stairwell.

"I need to get to class."

She turns and tries to push past him.

"Just hear me out, please," he says, stepping in front of her.

"Fine," she says, through gritted teeth.

"I missed our date because needed to help a friend," he replies.

"And you couldn't call and tell me?"

"My phone died after I left one voicemail."

"What were you doing?"

"His car broke down and I gave him a ride."

He lowers his eyes in shame.

"You're a great friend," she says coldly, making a second attempt to leave.

"I'm so sorry. I promise I'll make it up to you."

He moves closer and places a hand on her shoulder.

"I don't need anything from you. Are you even interested in me?"

"I like you Cara."

"How? Why?" she asks out of genuine curiosity.

"Everything."

"What do you mean?"

"I like everything about you."

"I like you too, but I think we are moving too fast."

She lets the words tumble out of her mouth, without a second thought.

"I can't believe I did that, I'm such an idiot."

"Can we just be friends, for now?"

"Friends, yeah."

She can detect bitterness in his tone.

"Why do people think that friendship is less than romantic relationship?" she thinks out loud.

"I didn't mean it like that."

"I know, but I just don't understand why romance is always considered to be the next level of a relationship."

"I've never considered that before."

"Both of them are about love, and I think that's what matters."

"You're right, but I don't think this is quite ..." he searches for the right words.

"I know, it's not quite love."

"That's sounds right."

"In a way, its more exciting than love."

"What do you mean?"

"Because there are so many possibilities and it feels like we're on the verge of something great."

"I love the way you think."

"Thanks."

"I just wish you could love yourself more."

"I'm somewhere between hate and love."

"Love who you are, even if you can't love your body."

"I'll try."

"In a way, you're also on the verge of something great."

"That's an interesting way of seeing it."

"I guess we can see the world differently, when we're together."

"I know we can."

...

"Emily!" Jonas yells, running after her.

"Leave me alone!"

She runs out of the school and into the field.

"Emily! Wait!"

She stops and turns to face him, taking a moment to catch her breath.

"We need to talk," he says, standing in front of her.

"What is it?"

"I want to be your friend," he says, with the utmost sincerity.

"I do too, but I don't see how that will work."

"It will work, if we just try."

"I'm not sure if this is a good idea."

"Please, Emily. We can't ingnore the connection we have."

"I'm not mad at you, Jonas. I was just caught off guard. That's all."

"I shouldn't have done that. I'm so sorry."

His eyes fill with tears.

"It's alright."

She takes holds his hand.

"This is the start of something great. I can feel it."

"Me too."