Mortal Questions

Chapter 6

When Loki returns to Thor, he finds his brother sitting on the bed with his arms crossed, "You're late."

"That I am," Loki says, hanging up his jacket.

"Mr Stark says I should take you back to Asgard tomorrow because you broke curfew."

Loki freezes, then shakes his head and walks to his own bed, "No. Violetta has asked to see me again. I can't leave tomorrow."

"You were still with Violetta?" Thor breaks into a wide grin.

He nods and loosens his tie, tossing it on the dresser along with his cufflinks and belt, "Yes, I was. Mr Stark should have told you my location so you could assure him I was no threat."

"Why did you linger so late?"

"Because she asked."

"And since when has Loki done anything he was asked?"

"Thor, you can laugh all you want, but this woman is more than merely intriguing."

"Are you telling me she has captured your attention? Has she, in three days, drawn forth the heart you claim to no longer have?"

"Shut up, Thor." He tosses himself onto the bed.

"No! I want to know why you think you can endanger your time here, the little time we have left, for a woman you only met a few days ago."

"Because if not now, when?! Thor, I lose everything the day after next. Please. Allow me this. I am spending my days with you. My evenings with Violetta. And I don't think you have any call to warn me against seeking love in Midgard with her short-lived mortals." He tosses his arm over his eyes.

Thor walks over to Loki's bed and sits on the end, "Love? Come now, brother, you've known her a grand total of three days."

"Fine. Perhaps it is only lustful companionship I seek. But whatever connection I have found, I want to keep it, as does she."

"Then you will keep it in your imagination only. You will either return with me in the day after next or you will disappear before I go so I can tell Father you slipped my grasp."

"And what if I want neither?"

"That is what we agreed on so as to buy you a few more days here."

Loki sits up abruptly and shoves back against the headboard, "And what if I no longer consider that a fair agreement? What if I want to...to...to... Damn you, Thor, what if I just want to live?"

"You wanting to live is you wanting to sow discord and chaos. You know I cannot allow that. You enjoy this far more than any man should."

"It is in my nature. I cannot destroy it."

"You can control it."

"You would have me cut it out, the mischief of my nature. Cut out my heart."

"No. I want your heart happy and settled like it was in our youth."

"Happy? Perhaps moreso than now, but it was never settled. You cast a long shadow, Thor, and the All-Father's sun is so unyieldingly bright."

"The All-Father was not the only person in your childhood."

"His presence dominates my memories."

"And what of your time with Mother?"

"Something for which I was mocked continually by your peers, if I recall. 'Not the proper nature for a prince of Asgard' and all that. Don't think I didn't hear the whispers."

"Did my adoration mean nothing?"

He sighs, "I don't want to talk about this. We go 'round in circles every time. Yes, it did. So why do I do this? Because I was never your equal and you never noticed. But love. Yes, I know, love. But also blindness. I always wished you would say something to the All-Father. Oh, why did I not mention it? Because you would not have understood. Or you would have denied it. Love is not enough when it cannot see."

"Loki..."

"No. Just...no." He turns over and pulls up the blankets. "I want to have coffee with her tomorrow."

"Fine. But I want to have time with you in the evening. One last time out with my brother before I have to return to Asgard."

"I can't go back."

"I know."

"I hate you."

"I know."

"I don't want to say goodbye. Not this time. So much has changed since...since I came for help."

"I know."

"Your eloquence is stunning, Thor. Has your tongue forgotten other words?" Silence. "Very well. Goodnight."

"I'm sorry."

"Oh?"

"I don't know what else to say."

Loki lets the words hang between them for a good long minute before he whispers, "I know. Neither do I."