Life Without Him

9/9/16

It was finally the weekend and I couldn't have been happier. I decided to relax and just watch Netflix but for some reason I could not seem to get his smile out of my mind. It was like popcorn in a microwave popping each second. I wondered and asked myself, "Why would I be thinking of him?" Watching Netflix was like eating French Fries for the first time. Once I picked up one a series I could not give it a rest until I'm finished with all. So I kept wondering why the image of him smiling was floating all in my head. Was it the way he smiles at me? Is it the reason that he somehow puts a smile on my face when I'm feeling down? Or was it because the way he looked? Always with a mad sad kind of face, as if he wanted to deal with nothing and nobody, slunched over, overly quiet, and shy. I began to think about it too much. I began to wonder what he must go through that makes me shy and not want to speak. He was in band and played the sax but still. Maybe that was a form of him communicating. By playing the sax. Maybe I was just overthinking things. So I began to wonder about his family. His dad was Asian and his mother was Hispanic. And his entire family was wealthy so money couldn't have been a reason for him looking so down all the time. So I ruled out family. I looked into his friends and the few that he had seemed very supportive toward him. So it couldn't have been friends. I began to miss episodes of Stranger Things by simply trying to figure out why he seemed so unhappy all the time. A headache was wanting to emerge so I decided to fall asleep. I turned off my tv and looked over my phone to check the time. 10:34 pm. I have spent nearly all day thinking about him that I didn't realize what time it was. I woke up again at 3 am then immediately went back to sleep.